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Thread: 20/2/08 Did anyone say "Ghetto"*~

  1. #1

    20/2/08 Did anyone say "Ghetto"*~

    There, the ice has been broken*~

    For anyone who is new here (or lives under a rock) I am Ruairidh1992 and I have been selected by the almighty Gods of RTVG (*cough*mods*cough*) to guide those who have either......

    A) Forgot to tevo or......

    B) Haven't updated their Adobe Flash Player to watch THE 10TH CYCLE OF ANTM! on youtube.

    Thats right folks, we were there for her when she shaked her body, we were there when she had her weave sewn on too tight and we were there for her when she was borderline plus-size and now we're with her when she launches THE 10TH CYCLE OF ANTM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Through the "cycles" we've also been their for our 9 darling winners. Here's a brief reminder, we had......

    Cycle 1: She who shall not be named

    Cycle 2: The real-sized girl, Yoanna

    Cycle 3: Little Miss Piggy AKA Eva

    Cycle 4: The never charming Naima Mora *shakes*

    Cycle 5: The ever so gorgeous and modelesque Nicole Linkletter

    Cycle 6: The girl who actually deserved it Danielle

    Cycle 7: The never sobber CariDee English who's still tres fierce

    Cycle 8: The girl who didn't get through in Cycle 7 cause she was a man but came back post-sexchange to storm cycle 8, Jaslene

    Cycle 9: The girl who slept with God who we all ~love~, Saleisha

    How nostalgic*~

    Before we get to the action we are given a rundown of the 9 cycles of Drama/Contestants/Photoshoots/ETC*~

    We have........

    9 battling bitches*~

    8 memorable makeovers

    7 sick ass bitches

    6 bitches fallin to their knee's*~

    5 fat bitches

    4 photoshoots where some bitches are sent flying*~

    3 creature encounters

    2 amazing bitches known as Jay Manuel and J. Alexander*~

    1, well, [TYRA] Only 1 America's Next Top Model and the compitition starts now![TYRA]

    So it begins*~

    Its a fine L.A day and the hamsters soon begin to arrive in their ride their ride being a school bus. All the girls were screaming and singing and jumping about, this makes 19 year old Marguerite from Cincinatti feel she must socialise with the other girls as most people do when they meet some random strangers. The girls all seem happy now but little do they know that major drama's coming their way, lets just say thing start to get "ghetto"*~

    We are soon re-acquainted with Marvita, Marvita didn't make the cut last cycle due to her issues (you know, being molested and raped) and she's now recieved help and is ready to fight for the title she feels she deserves. Amy from Bartlesville, Oklahoma likes the idea of getting off the bus and having no idea where you are, I'll give her a hint

    Its right infront of you*~

    If like Amy you are thick as Tyra's weave the girls are going to school, model school*~

    The girls are ushered out to a courtyard where they have no idea whats going to happen, after 9 cycles its kind of obvious. The girls start to scream hysterically as they see something come out of the doors, The Jay's?, Tyra?

    No silly's! Its Casper the Friendly Ghost of course*~

    But seriously it the two Jay's. Jennifer from Orlando, Florida thinks that Miss J. is fabulous and Mr Jay is quite fine and we don't know it, [NOTGAY!]we do know it*~[/NOTGAY]. They are given the usual schtick "thousands of girls auditioned, balh, blah, blah, you 35 are the prettiest/bitchiest girls we could find, blah, Blah, BLAH!". The girls are told they are at "Top Model Prep", one of the most prestigious high schools not known by the feds, here they will be taught the basics of modeling, so we are told.

    The deluded Shaya from Country Club Hills, Illinois is so happy about being here because not only does she love fashion, she study's fashion and enjoys making "beauty" because she is beautiful. The girls rush into the locker rooms to change into their uniforms, uniforms so provocative that the Catholic school nuns would be fanning themselves dry. Amy looks around at all the beautiful girls and asks why is she here, awwwwwwwwwwwwww, Amy you are here because you are a mad ass ho, a pretty mad ass ho.

    The girls line up to get their photo taken but we are going to skip straight to the one that matters, legally blonde Kimberly shimmy's her way over to the spot and stares emptily into space as any stero-typical blonde would. Realising where she is, Kimberly soon asks if they want her to pose, don't be too hard on Kimberly though, I'm sure we'd all be confused when we're in a modeling compitition and there's a camera directly infront of us. Kimberly soon struts out of the room in a way only an airheaded blonde would, completely ignoring someone and calling them cute. On a side-note I find it funny how many girls find Mr Jay cute, its kind of sad most of them don't realise he's gay, bless their hearts.

    Its a new day and a new class. What might they be learning, Arithmetic?, Physics?, R.M.P.S? If you said any of the previous you are wrong and obviously watching the wrong show, its catwalk of course! Not only do the girls have strut their stuff in ridiculous schoolgirl outfits, they also have to work it in ridiculous bagpack's that contain a "brief" history of fashion. First up to work it is 23 year old Shalynda from Washington who has auditioned for ANTM and failed 8 times, if you don't admire her looks you've got to admire her determination. After a montage of girls walking surprisingly well we meet punk rocker Lauren who moshes her way down the runway like any rebel without a care would, Miss J was not amused and neither was Lauren who doesn't think she's "discovered" her runway walk, I would have to agree since she works the runway like some with a stick up their ass. After clutching their pearls the other girls had a chance to "work it like they're late for class". Sexy Slav Anya who has left the cold streets of the Soviet Union for the cool waves of Hawaii dreams of modelling and sometimes she sits their for an "hour just thinking about it, not quite an hour but "you know what she means".

    Its now late at night and the girls are flocking into an empty football stadium shouting and screaming like the melodramatic bitches they are. Looney Amis is excited to see the bonfire in the middle of the field, you know how we all get excited when we see things burn be it a housefire or your grandmothers good endtable *hides*. As the girls gather round the stage in the middle of the field Marvita stumbles on to an astonishing fact, the cheerleaders are actually girls from previous cycles of ANTM!!!!!!!!

    Who do we have? Tell us Marvita!

    Marvita: "OMG, we had her!"

    Marvita "And we had them!"

    Marvita: "OMG, that crazy girl!"

    Marvita: "OMG, its that one girl!"

    That's right y'all; we had her, them, that crazy and that one girl*~

    With all those girls here Marvita thought something was up, no Marvita those are the only girls who have done nothing since their cycle of ANTM was done, they'll get back to their Z-list lifestyles after this is over.

    Jay Manuel tells the girls that tonight they will celebrate their first day of "top model prepatory" and that Top Model (*cough*Tyra*cough*) is moving away from LA (*cough*Tyra's up to here with all LA's SH!T*cough*) and Top Model's going back home to New York (*cough*Tyra's taking her talkshow to New York*cough*). Young Aimee is excited about Top Model moving to New York since New York is one of the top fashion capitals of the world (*cough* and the new home of Tyra's talkshow*cough*).

    After a cheerleading routine that would make Torrance Shipman commit suicide the girls are about to find out who the Top Model Homecoming queen will be. Transexual Dominique initial reaction is "Yessssssssssss!", she's so excited to wear the little crown on top of her head cause she feels she did an awesome job.

    And the homecoming queen is...............................

    Tyra of course!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111111

    "OMG, Tyra :D. She's so special", in more ways than one Dominique, in more ways than one*~

    "Tyra's got that presence that you just can't take your eyes off" yes Whitney, for all the wrong reasons.

    A very dramatic, or intoxicated, Tyra asks the girls "Are you happy to be here!?", the screams make me think "Hell yeah!". She then asks "Who's the winner?" and all 35 girls scream "meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee", pretty vague if you ask me*~

    Tyra is happy that girls (*cough*herself*cough*) selected her as prom queen even though she slept with "all" their boyfriends. A spunky Allison soon exclaimed "I slept with yours*~".......

    Work Tyra!, He's Tyra's man but she's willing to share Nigel with Allison*~

    After meeting Tyra, Amis knows she wants this and is willing to do anything to get it, personally I believe her since she's bat shizz crazy.

    Lets get to know these "Ghetto" ass ho's*~

    First in, with a scream, is 19 year old Anya from "Ha-wa-hee". Anya is originally Russian and after years of living in "Ha-wa-hee" she has gained a nifty trans-atlantic accent and it just cracks me up how Tyra think its a Hawaiian accent; TBH if all Hawaiian's sounded like Anya a Volcano erupting on the many islands wouldn't be a disaster but a righteous act of God. Anya has "fiiiiire", you can see it in her "eyyyyyes", she is "driiiiven towards thee cam-ra". When asked, Anya begins to unleash the fire within her eyes but in my opinion it looks as if she's constipated or charging her lazer

    The next girl who is "Ssssssso S-Happy to be here, you don't s-understand" is Atalya. I'm not going to talk about Atalya because I feel it would be a waste of my time but I did notice one thing.......


    Next in we have Allison from Hicktown, Wisconsin and she is determined she isn't going back because........

    A) There are no modeling oppurtunity's in Wisconsin (SHUT YO MOUTH AND SAY IT AIN'T SO!)


    B) It's WISCONSIN!!!!!!!!!

    If you are like me you may find yourself screaming "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOORK BITCH!" at the TV.


    But if you're not me you might be wondering why Sarah Silverman is on ANTM.

    Okay guys, I have been extremely busy this week due to Parents nights at school, finishing work after school, Sports, moving from one house to another and back, etc, etc. I know its typically me but I cannot finish this recap as of now but I will finish it when my time is free. Sorry but I hope you can understand. I also lost nearly one half of the recap when my computer crashed so yeah.....Anyway, bear with me and just enjoy what I have so far.

  2. #2
    Gettin up in this gig i love kahlen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Portland, OR
    LOL I loved the recap so far Ru, can't wait to see the rest of it

    You had me LOL in real life a few times reading it Great job!

  3. #3
    Ugh Work Ru, The recap was fierce as hail, love the Intro and the Atalya part.

  4. #4
    Haha, I love it. Great job RuRu hoe.

  5. #5

    I loved it and I can't wait for the next bit!

  6. #6
    You better work bitch!

    Amazing re-cap.

  7. #7
    haha! I love it! Especially the past winner's pictures! Also love the moving to new york summary and how tyra's gonna share nigel!
    AusNTM: Kelsey, Amanda, Joanna, Kathryn, Jessica,Sally, Megan
    BNTM: Charlotte, Amelia, Susan, Tiffany, Kirsty, Joy

  8. #8
    RTVG Idol TopTop's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Ruru, I love thou <3

  9. #9
    lol @ she who must not be named

    I can't wait for the next recap! And the last bit of this one

    Day 2 in progress. Check out The Hunger Games: RTVG thread in the Non-Reality Based Games to see what's happening in the arena!

  10. #10

    I just noticed that cat picture was the one I posted at SCF in response to one of your ~*witty*~ remarks.

  11. #11
    Was that when me and you hated eachovers guts?

    Actually I got that form "HF or LF?" thread, but you posted it :D

  12. #12
    I guess. :D It is quite HF.

    Holy! I'm watching ANTM 3 re-runs on MTV, and Tyra's introduction to the cycle was so over the top. WTH@her speaking with a fan blowing in her face.

  13. #13
    Did that remind you of my introduction?

  14. #14
    No, yours was fiercer, bb~

  15. #15
    Great job. Can't wait to see the rest.

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