ANTM7 ? Episode 5 Recap ? Welcome to Hollyweird

Welcome back to ANTM! This episode was fan-freaking-tastic I tell you! I mean c?mon, what in the world could be better than an ANTM episode filled with haters, snakes (of both the human and python variety) and special guest appearances by top notch celebrities such as Bobby Brown and Kevin Federline?!? Nothing! POPOZAO! It was hot like fire! *pauses as she stares back at the solemn faces of AJ fans* Oh, errm, well, ahem. This week?s elimination did catch many people by surprise and it definitely goes to show that you should expect to expect the unexpected in this spool of lies where you must reap what you sow.

OMG RU tEh gHeY?!

The show opens up with Jaeda having a realization that she ?sucks? and reflects on her second time in the bottom two. AJ lamets via confessional that she was the closest to Megg, last week?s eliminated contestant, and how losing her was like losing ?this huge spirit?. Before I have the chance to stare blankly and blink, Melrose appears and does a dramatic fake moan and cry as we see a sepia toned flashback of Anchal and AJ crying as Megg departs. She admits she cried like that when she thought she was going to be eliminated but she?s not crying like that for anyone else. Hell yeah. This is a competition folks, what part of this do some people not understand? Yes, you can form friendships and it can be hard saying goodbye to a friend, but it?s not like Tyra took out a gun and bust a cap in their ass right there in the judging room or anything, geez!
Your objective in this competition is to win, so if someone else other than yourself is eliminated, isn?t that?a good thing?

Anyway, back in the house, the attention is turned on to the twins. Jaeda points out that Amanda is the quieter twin, while Michelle seems more ?open?. Jaeda quickly tells Amanda that it doesn?t make her like her any less, but Eugena chimes in with a sing songy ?I do!? and tells us via confessional that she thinks Amanda is more ?self-conscious? than Michelle. Later, Michelle is seen sitting down with Jaeda on her bed and says she ?might be gay? but isn?t quite sure of her sexuality. Eugena and Brooke seem quite surprised, but Melrose just says that Michelle seems ?more comfortable in [herself]?. Then, we see the twins walking downstairs together and Amanda saying, ?wow, twin!? as she is quite surprised that her sister told everyone that. They are shown in the phone room together and Amanda seems uncomfortable as Michelle rambles on about exactly what she said. Amanda tells us via confessional that she was not really wanting to talk about it, didn?t want to make it a ?big deal? and wishes it would ?just go away?. Michelle verifies with Amanda that she ?did tell her right? and Amanda calmly says yes and brushes it off.

Can You SMELL What These Haters Are Cooking?

AJ reads Tyra Mail that says, ?I once heard that dumb models ask stupid questions. I?ve also heard that there is no thing as a stupid question. Is there? Find out today?. Some blurts out ?we?re acting dumb!? Why yes, yes you are. The girls are taken to studio and meet with Mark Steines, a co-host from Entertainment Tonight.
We see several clips of him interviewing famous celebrities on the red carpet and he tells us that he is currently in his eleventh season on the show and has interviewed virtually ?every star in Hollywood?. He is going to teach them about interviewing and they get to practice on him. Mark admits that ?it seems simple, but it?s not?. Here is how each girl did:

Caridee ? inquires which designer he is wearing and as he is looking in his jacket, she says ?oh Mary Kate and Ashley?, attempting to lightly make fun of him.
Anchal ? timidly asks how old he is and replies with a lackluster, ?that?s awesome?. She has trouble remembering to point the microphone at Mark when he is talking and to her when she is talking.
Brooke ? confidently and dramatically asks how he got his start in the entertainment industry. He tells her she sounds a bit too rehearsed and to be herself.
Eugena ? asks if he is married and is a bit jerky with the microphone. He says she is ?about to snap the head off of that thing?!
Jaeda ? keeps bursting out laughing and can barely get anything out other than saying his name over and over (and laughing some more).
Michelle ? seems quite jittery and asks he ?knows how to answer questions with that perfect little charm so [he doesn?t] get in trouble.
Amanda ? after a long period of silence, she asks what his shoe size is.
AJ ? asks him how he?s doing and then completely blanks out. She admits she is ?lost?. She admits via confessional that she breaks out in hives when she?s nervous and isn?t comfortable approaching people she doesn?t know.

Mark announces that there is one person left, and that is Melrose. As she is about to go up, someone (sounds like AJ) mockingly calls her ?Mel-stank?. She laughs but asks what is up with that and says she doesn?t call any of the other girls names like that. The only response she gets is another ?Smell Rose? insult, and tells AJ to get out of her way as she goes up to do her interview. She says via confessional that she is not going to let it get to her and is going to focus on keeping it positive.

Melrose ? she handles her interview phenomenally and seems like a natural professional. Mark seems quite at ease with her and says she did a ?really good job? and ?a lot of personality came with that?. One of the girls calls her a ?ding dong? right there while she?s still standing with Mark! She says via confessional that the other girls are ?crazy? and spend way too much time focused on her. Agreed! *claps*

Back at the house, Michelle tells us that coming out as possibly being bisexual has made her feel really good, but she notices that her sister Amanda is ?not being herself? and wants to figure out what?s up with her. She approaches her as she?s laying on her bed (with AJ laying in the next bed). Amanda claims she is being herself, just more ?mellow? and doesn?t know what to tell her. AJ interjects and asks Amanda if Michelle saying that she might be gay makes her uncomfortable. She doesn?t answer and Michelle says she is worried that her not being herself is ?restricting? her. Amanda shrugs it off again and says she is being herself but she just doesn?t know.

What Makes You So?.Bitchy?

Jaeda reads a Tyra Mail that says, ?Beware of Supermodel! She bites!? Brooke wonders if they are going out to dinner, you know??bites?. Oh Brookie, you knucklehead! Well, the other girls must have thought the same thing, because they arrive to the Geoff Thomas Designs Studio dressed up all ready for a night on the town. (Well, AJ sticks out like a sore thumb with an ugly pink rag/bandana/ski cap looking thing on her head). They feign excitement as Mark Steines (from the interview exercise) informs them that tonight, for their challenge, they will be working the red carpet as Geoff has guests coming in for the unveiling of his brand new jewelry collection. He will be directing them via earpiece as they interview none other than Janice Dickinson!
Some of the girls look especially scared and Anchal admits it will be ?hard challenge? and Jaeda is worried because she has seen her be a complete ?bitch?. Well, put those fears aside ladies, it?s time to work it!

Here is how each girl performed:

Caridee ? has a lot of trouble with her words and mistakenly asks her what makes her ?over pungent? Mark buries his head in his hands.
Brooke ? immediately tells Janice how sexy she looks and Mark tells her to ?warm her up first?make her like you?. Brooke does the most logical thing that would make anyone like a person and asks what makes Janice ?so bitchy?. Janice stares blanky, turns around, flips her hair and walks off. Brooke calls out ?thank you? as she struts away. Mark says he feels sorry for the next girl up after that.
Anchal ? The next lucky girl is Anchal heheh. She smiles brightly and Janice asks where she is from. She nervously explains she is from India, but actually from Miami, FL and still forgets to point the microphone at Janice when she is talking and to herself when she is talking.
Eugena ? Eugena asks what makes Janice so ?energetic?. Janice gets distracted and thinks a pigeon has flown by and defecated on her. Eugena looks on bewildered.
Michelle ? She moves and twists around like a 5 year old drinking espresso.
She nervously babbles on like a Tyra Mail and says, ?I hear a lot that um models have a lot of attitude so do you think there is ever an appropriate time for a model to have an attitude?? Janice doesn?t even know how to answer and comments on her moving around so much. Michelle tells us via confessional that she tried to get sound bites but most of the ones they got were of Janice making fun of her. She attempts to gracefully end the interview by saying, ?I hope you really enjoy the Mark Thomas collection!? Janice whirls around and we see a shot of the big ?Geoff Thomas Designs? sign in front of the building. Oh snap!
Amanda? Is very polite and sweet but gets a bit tongue tied as she speaks. She gets completely stumped after Janice asks her to define a supermodel. Mark says that if Amanda were a model correspondent on his show, he would have to ?light a fire under her?.
AJ ? Janice immediately asks what is up with ?that thing on your head? (i.e. her fugly pink hat) and ?it looks like it has moth balls on it?. Mark tells AJ via earpiece to take the focus off of her and back onto Janice. Before she can attempt to do so, Janice asks her to take off her hat. AJ obliges and Janice takes the microphone from her. Mark says, ?no, no, you?ve lost the interview!? AJ gets the microphone back but totally forgets what she was going to say. Janice even ends up coaching her and telling her to ?invent?. She ends up just thanking her for her time and walking away from Janice, who notices that AJ started to break out in hives.
Melrose ? She?s quite energetic and does an excellent job. Even when Janice tries to take the microphone, she holds onto it and leans in to her. She also successfully steers the conversation back to Janice each time Janice tries to turn it to Melrose.
Jaeda ? Poor Jaeda gets really stuck and can barely say anything at all except ?so ummm?. She ends up just thanking her for her time. Janice grabs the microphone from her and playfully prances off chanting, ?I?ve got the mic!?

Afterwards, Mark and Janice meet the girls back inside the studio. Janice immediately asks AJ ?why is that pink thing still on your head?!?!? She laughingly removes it and Janice asks her if she actually believes it is fashionable and/or attractive and retorts that she would even wipe her car with it! AJ scoffs via confessional that she doesn?t really care about Janice?s opinion. Umm, in this industry, I would definitely care about what a fashion icon thinks about my appearance while on the job. It?s one thing to express yourself and wear whatever you like on your own time, but when you are working in a job where your appearance is PART of your job, you should definitely care about how you are being perceived.

Anyway, Mark informs the girls that the winner of tonight?s challenge will get to join him and the Entertainment Tonight staff as a correspondent at another event. He announces that Melrose is the winner and Janice gives her major props and is happy she won. She even goes as far to say as ?girls I?m sorry but she blew ya?ll away!? The certified higgity hater, AJ immediately yells, ?I?m definitely excited I didn?t win that!? Dayyyum!
AJ obviously is not familiar with the phrase ?Don?t Hate, Congratulate?!

Heart to Hearts *hands tissue*

Tyra surprises the girls as they are sleeping the next morning and does one on one interviews with them at the house. Tyra really, really has this talk show host buzz bad! She notices a lovely caricature of herself taped to the kitchen cabinet and AJ drew it. Tyra is impressed as she knows she is hard to draw and most people end up making her look like an ?alien?. Anyway, she starts off with AJ, who says she keeps to herself and has trouble relating to the other girls. When asked who is troubling her, she wastes no time in singling out Melrose, saying she is ?abrasive? and ?not a nice girl?. LOL yeah AJ, and you are just a regular Miss Mary Sunshine


Melrose is aware that people may be turned off by her confidence, or sometimes ?overconfidence?. She admits, however, that she does feel insecure sometimes, but she is strong. Eugena gets teary-eyed as Tyra asks why she seems cold. She says it is easy for some girls to express their emotions but she doesn?t really want to ?tap into that?. Caridee tells her she used to have siriasis, a skin disease that once covered 78% of her body. She always longed to model, but her condition made her so insecure she couldn?t even wear shorts and flip flops, something that many people take for granted. We also find out that she is also a photographer and getting behind the camera was her way of partially fulfilling her dream when she felt that she couldn?t get in front of the camera.

Michelle is happy that she can model and still be a tomboy (something she once thought impossible). Tyra asks Michelle if she feels any guilt because she is blossoming and doing better than her sister, who wants to be a model more than she does. Michelle says her sister is not acting like herself and that she encourages her to open up. When it?s Amanda?s turn, Tyra says she used to have a light about her and now it seems to be dimming. She says it is hard for her to open up since she doesn?t want everyone to know everything about her. She cries as she talks about how she is scared for her sister and wasn?t really happy that Michelle opened up about her sexuality, as its no one else?s business. Amanda is surprised that she is crying as she doesn?t cry very often, but Tyra comforts her in saying she cries too, and in fact, she cried yesterday for two whole hours. She also tells Amanda that her sister needs her more than ever now.

Later that night, Michelle and Amanda get in the phone room together as Michelle calls her mother to tell her she?s unsure of her sexuality. Even though there are a few awkward silences, their mother is very loving and supportive about it. We later see a clip of Melrose having an awesome time at the event she gets to interview at. She seems quite natural and at ease as an Entertainment Tonight correspondent.

Welcome to Hollyweird

The shoot this week is celebrity couples. They will shoot doubles (i.e. the girl plays both the male and female parts). Matthew Jordan Smith is the photographer (he shot the famous Tyra muscle woman pic that hangs in the house). The girls are the following couples: Eugena (Beyonce & Jay-Z); Anchal (Oprah & Stedman; Caridee (Brad & Angelina), AJ (J-Lo & Marc Anthony); Brooke (Britney & K-Fed); Jaeda (Bobby & Whitney); Michelle (Ellen & Portia); Amanda (Demi & Ashton); and Melrose (Donald Trump & Melania). I must admit, it is quite ironic that they gave Michelle the lesbian couple. I wonder which couple she would have been assigned had she not kinda-sorta came out of the closet. It?s not just Michelle?s assignment that?s ironic, as Tyra sure likes to make a play off of issues each girl has. For example, Anchal going through issues about her weight and being cast as Oprah, Brooke?s main critique being her Miss Teen USA-ness and being cast as former teen pop star Britney Spears, and Melrose having issues with being the oldest of the group and being cast as the ancient Donald Trump. I?m not sure if Tyra is trying to help by them confronting their issues head on, or if she is flat out exploiting these issues for entertainment value, but in any case, it certainly does makes for an interesting photo shoot.

Here is how each girl emulated her celebrity couple:

Eugena ? has no trouble keeping it gangxta with Jay-Z, but has a bit of trouble getting her diva on with Beyonce.
Anchal ? isn?t quite sure what to do as Stedman, so she kind of just stands there. She has more fun with Oprah and Mr. Jay even says he didn?t think she was going to be able to do it. Anchal is all smiles and doesn?t flip out at all like she did with Melrose when she said she surprised her.
Caridee ? as Brad, she has the additional challenge of posing with a baby and toddler. The toddler is well behaved, but the baby cries non-stop. She has a much easier time as the sultry Angelina.
AJ ? Mr. Jay is concerned that she is not being very ?creative? as Marc Anthony. She kind of just stands around and doesn?t seem in the moment at all. Mr. Jay tries to give her direction when she is posing as J-Lo in a wedding gown, saying how she was so ecstatic to be getting married, and AJ smarts off that she is smiling as far as her face will go. She snaps via confessional that she?s doing what she can and if it?s not enough, then that?s her problem. *z snap*
Brooke ? keeps it real yo with K-Fed and tries not to be too ?perfect?. As she getting glammed up for her Britney shot, a crew member rolls in a large ice chest and she wonders if there is a snake inside. Sure enough, they open it to reveal an 8 foot, yellow python named ?Banana?.
They lay it across her shoulders and she screams and exclaims, ?she?s raping me!? when it?s tail moves between her legs. They tell her not to worry, she is just ?friendly? During her shoot, the photographer calls her ?genius? and Mr. Jay pleasingly admits that she proved to him that she has ?a little something brewing underneath that perfect veneer?.
Jaeda ? gets down as Bobby Brown. She humps and thrusts and shakes her booty around with lots of energy. She seems to hold back more as Whitney, but Mr. Jay says she gets an ?A for effort?.
Michelle ? starts off a bit dorky as Ellen, but when prompted to bust out in an ?Ellen dance? she nails it. As she dresses up to be Portia, she is astonished that her dress is worth $15,000. She is not used to being ?the feminine twin? but gives a good effort.
Amanda ? Despite lamenting via confessional that she would really rather being wearing a dress than a teensy black bikini as Demi Moore, she absolutely nails it and does a great job. As Ashton, she exceeded expectations and really stepped it up. After her shoot she consults with her sister and knowing that she also did well, she proclaims via confessional that, ?the twins are here to stay?.
Melrose? As she is getting made up to be Melania, Melrose notes that while she is doing well in the competition, she feels very alone, as the girls seem intimidated by her. Mr. Jay compliments her by saying it?s ?top model history? as almost every frame is useable. She decides not to tell the other girls what he said. As Donald Trump, she hams it up and does an excellent job while having fun with it.

Caridee reads the Tyra Mail announcing the impending elimination and Jaeda is nervous that she might be in danger of going home. She isn?t sure what she would do if she ends up in the bottom two for the third time.

Whoever Did Your Makeup Should Be Shot!

Matthew Jordan Smith, photographer, is the guest judge this week. For the judging test, the girls must give commentary on a party of past ANTM finales as being a commentator is an ?important part of the competition?. We see clips of Cycle 2 winner, Yoanna, and Cycle 3 winner, Eva, covering fashion events with charm and ease. Anchal is up first and when Tyra instructs her to give her POV, she asks what that means. Tyra gives her an ?aw hell nah, you did not just ask that? look. Melrose and Brooke give good jobs (even though Brooke starts out with the microphone upside down ). Michelle speculates that Tyra might be sporting a weave, while Jaeda still can?t get any words out. AJ flat out admits she has no idea what?s going on. Anchal and Amanda trail off and have trouble. Eugena makes ghetto comments on everyone?s attire.

Caridee ? received rave reviews on both her challenge and her photo.
Jaeda ? was chided for seeming like she didn?t care on her challenge, but got a good review on her photo, although it was noted she did much better on Bobby than Whitney.
Brooke ? wowed everyone with her commentary and nailed her photo. She busts out into a freestyle rap on command:

?My picture?s looking good, my picture?s looking fly
I took it to the next level, I got high
Boys, check it out, I?m revin? it full throttle
I?m standing here, I?m gonna be America?s Next Top Model!?


Amanda ? deemed too quiet and timid on her challenge, but gets an all around great photo review.
Eugena ? was compared to Joan Rivers on her challenge, but that?s what people want to see.
The photo gets mixed reviews (good on Jay-Z but not so good on Beyonce).
AJ ? her challenge was referred to as ?bad public access television? and her photo was panned all around. She seemed bored and disinterested and it showed immensely.
Michelle ? she was all over the place in her challenge, but received a very good photo review.
Melrose ? was given the honor of having her challenge referred to as ?one of the best of the evening? and her photo referred to as ?absolutely brilliant?. The Donald picture they selected was the first frame they shot of her.
Anchal ? bad reviews on her challenge (they were bored out of their minds) and but not bad reviews on her photo. They loved her portrayal of Oprah, but Tyra blamed the makeup job for her odd Stedman look and said whoever did it ?should be shot?. Uh-oh! The last thing this show needs is another part of the ANTM team going on strike! *envisions the makeup department marching around with picket signs outside Tyra?s office*

Self-Sabotage

We zoom through evaluations with lightening speed, with Melrose, Caridee and Brooke getting top honors (yay, Brooke has finally won Twiggy over!). It seems everyone wants to pull for Jaeda as she has the goods but just can?t seem to get it together. AJ can photograph but it?s noted that she doesn?t seem to want to do glamour modeling. Nigel and Mathew disagree on which twin they prefer over the other. Anchal is chided for her lack of confidence and they make fun of the comment she made about Oprah flying for donuts in her challenge as they chow down on boxes of donuts as silly, sitcom like music plays in the background. What in the heck is up with the comedy routines at judging now?

The girls are called in the following order: Brooke, Melrose, Amanda, Caridee, Michelle, Eugena, and Anchal, leaving Jaeda & AJ in the bottom two. They are both chided for making the judges wondering how much they ?care? and want to be here. Jaeda hasn?t had good photos and it seemed like she thought she was ?above? the challenge today. However her photo this week had ?passion? in it and she is spared and AJ is eliminated. AJ admitted she was eliminated for ?the right reasons? and if she could give up her spot to another girl who wanted it more, then she was ?really glad she gave it up?. She also thinks subconsciously maybe she did sabotage herself.

UBER ironically, at the end of the show, it is announced that Covergirl of the Week is this week?s eliminated contestant AJ! Viewer Nicole Crowley says that, ?I think AJ has the best attitude?.she controls the runway?.

Next week, on America?s Next Top Model ? Eugena gets fed up with her housemates and trash talks people via confessional (saying Caridee can?t keep her clothes on and Melrose is a backstabbing HOE) and the girls get a lesson in sex appeal! :cowboy :smokin

Popozao ya?ll,

GlitterxGold, RTVG

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