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Thread: Arizona Reads Every Single Goshdarn Lewk In Project Runway History

  1. #109
    Insightful Bitch arizona's Avatar
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    Recap | Project Runway Season 3 | Episode 3 | Designer's Best Friend

    Hi welcome back to Arizona finally stops playing Skyrim in her precious time off and gets her **** together and gets back to these reviews~

    This week the designers have to make a look for "fashion's hottest accessory". It's early 2000's, Paris Hilton is still "so hot", so the accessory is a tiny dog. So they have to make a look based on the dog they get + a complimentary outfit for the dog

    Highlights:
    - A moment of silence for Malan, who should've been kept for the lolz and the fake British accent
    - Kayne's hair... Just gosh, it's so bad
    - Laura interprets the "accessory" as horses, so she goes with a horse-riding outfit (and pearls), apt
    - TIM WALKS UP TO THE DESIGNERS WITH SO MANY SMALL DOGS AND IT'S THE CUTEST ****ING THING I'VE SEEN ALL WEEK
    - THERE'S CORGIS!
    - Jeffrey immediately goes for the "everyone picked the dog that is just like them" philosophy. But it's BS because he ends up with the corgi
    - Laura puts the dog in her bag "so I don't have to touch it"
    - Angela goes for a full Brooklyn Nine Nine undercover backstory: "She's a British headmistress of an art academy in Paris and she is making preparations for the yearly party"
    - Kayne and Robert have hideous fabrics and are gushing over them. Laura: "Oh, wow, mine's so tasteful compared to yours"
    - Robert: "So my story is about a Park Avenue princess.... I don't know, here's the thing about stories: I hate them"
    - Vincent makes a tiny hat for his tiny dog, which he apparently thinks is the most hilarious thing ever because he is just hysterically laughing
    - Keith and Laura are yapping at each other. Keith, in a weird Freudian fit: "Laura... she's bad mommy. I had a good mommy. She's bad mommy"
    - IVANKA TRUMP IS THE GUEST JUDGE WOW watching this in 2018 hurts more now
    - Uli's dog's jacket says "Hi Ladies" and that's such gay vibes I love it

    Lewks:

    WIN
      Spoiler:  

    Uli mixed a bunch of boho patterns because she felt her pug was "funky". Not mad at this at all, it's very Uli & very cute




    HIGH
      Spoiler:  

    Alison made something kinda cute and preppy. It fits the poodle without being too stereotypically "poodle", ya know?


    Bradley went for very deflated soufflé boobs. I don't really hate it though, I get why the judges liked it. There's a definite type of businesswoman who would buy this stuff



    SAFE
      Spoiler:  

    Jeffrey made a Santino-babydoll with even more boob action


    Laura made exactly the right look for a rich 70 year old with a pomeranian


    Michael made something that in the current age would scream "I really want to look like Kylie Jenner but I can't afford her clothes!"


    Kayne made a look for last season's Barbie challenge


    Bonnie made a cute mod costume


    Vincent also made a cute mod costume, but in his case, his dog drew all the attention by desperately trying to remove its hat constantly. Poor doggo


    Robert's dog was called Chanel and honestly that kinda says everything you need to hear about this look




    BOTTOM
      Spoiler:  

    Keith was so far up his own ass that he decided not to make an outfit for his dog, because that would fit his "story" better (conveniently). The girl's dress is ok


    Angela... gosh, I don't even know if I want to read her outfits because her design aesthetic is the worst kind of mom in her 40's who deeply believes in astrology and really wants to be cool and hip. It's so ugly... and cheap-looking.... aaah



    OUT
      Spoiler:  

    Katherine went with a boring green dress that made her model's boobs look weirdly elongated and flat


  2. #110
    RTVG Idol brb's Avatar
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    If Malan had stayed, between him and Bradley, they might have balanced out the creepy weird of Vincent and Keith with lovable goof ball wackiness. I feel like Catherine, Bonnie and Alison were kind of interchangeably underwhelming. So I wasn't sad when they went. Angela outfit was so awful in this challenge and her story was such a hot mess but I'm glad they kept her around for longer.

  3. #111
    Insightful Bitch arizona's Avatar
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    Recap | Project Runway Season 3 | Episode 4 | Reap What You Sew

    This ep, the designers have to create a look for INC, at Macy's. And then they're told they have to work in teams of three. Also they only got a hundred bucks.

    Highlights:
    - Jeffrey: "Keith! The judges love that guy. His finest attribute is that he's a big big bull****ter"
    - Angela is picked as a team leader, and the soundtrack does that metal-scrappy shady rattlesnake sound immediately and everyone just rolls their eyes
    - Robert is explaining his look to his team and Vincent just immediately starts shaking his head
    - Keith smooth-talks his way into getting more materials than his budget allows for
    - Bradley: "Bonnie doesn't seem to like me. Maybe if I shaved off my beard, if I just left my moustache... Maybe then she will like me"
    - THE PATTERN BOOK SCANDAL!
    - It starts with Kayne, Michael and Robert talking about Keith having pattern books and getting more and more dramatic with every word
    - Also Keith apparently just left for a bit and then came back
    - So Tim tells him he's disqualified while Kayne and Vincent are reading stuff and badly pretending not to eavesdrop
    - But like... I thought this was gonna be way more dramatic, and it's kinda .... meh? It's maybe because Keith talks like he's on valium and nobody slams a camera into the ground
    - I'm pretty sure Laura calls Keith an "assf*ck" though, so that makes up for it
    - Robert: "Vincent keeps disagreeing with me and he's entitled to his wrong opinion"
    - Angela is making a bunch of rosettes. Laura and Michael are laughing about it. Laura: "She's in there making... her grandma"
    - The judges ask Bradley what he thought of the look and he tries to be nice, but ends up saying "It's very close to what it was in the sketch" which is just the biggest read because the look is butt-ugly


    Lewks:

    WIN
      Spoiler:  

    Angela (paired with Michael and Laura) had her crazy aesthetic toned down by her team members and turned out these super hot pants and little jacket. Not sure about the colour of this top, but I like this look





    TOP
      Spoiler:  

    Jeffrey and Allison (previously with leader Keith) made a goooorgeous coat and sexy pants but then paired it with this super weird top thing that is a turtleneck mixed with a tanktop worn upside-down.





    BOTTOM
      Spoiler:  

    Robert (paired with Kayne and Vincent) made this weird mix between grandma, French maid, sex kitten and parka. I actually really like the parka, the outfit underneath is just ???





    OUT
      Spoiler:  

    Bonnie (paired with Bradley and Uli) made this autumny 70's-y snoozefest that was pretty poorly made





    Stray note: it's nice to actually like the clothes again!

  4. #112
    RTVG Idol brb's Avatar
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    yeah the pattern book scandal seems like early Reality TV, before they learned to work this stuff up to a frenzy.

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