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Thread: (TEA) Earth, Water, Fire, and Air ✘ -- THE GUY WHO FALLS DOWN AN UP ESCALATOR [p.50]

  1. #883
    .









    . X .


    WEEK 3:: THE GUY WHO FALLS DOWN AN UP ESCALATOR (1/3)

    __________________________






    Idina: (conf.)


    Being the last Light girl… it’s very crippling… I put a lot of my time into listening to what
    Merle tried to teach me and grow from it. I wanna try and keep driving myself
    closer to the crown, even if my team is uh… a complete disaster.









    Laurentine: (conf.)

    I’m really proud of myself for winning my 2nd FCO and Best Photo.

    Things are really looking on the up and up from as far as I can see (without my glasses).
    But I’m not gonna get too cocky just yet. I’ve seen EWFA… well, more like blurry blobs
    on the screen… and I saw the downward spirals of people like Devorah & Logan: one week you’re on top,

    the next week you’re getting arrested for half a bag of weed going 120 in a 45 on the freeway in a
    stolen car with your kid in the backseat not wearing a seatbel- … wait…
    OH dammit, that was Cops. I really gotta start cleaning these glasses better.





    =====








    *ALL OF THE MODELS ARE IN A LIMO HEADED TOWARD SUNSET BLVD.*




    Dakota: oh hey guys!!! Sshhh!

    Cong Mae: WHO da f*ck are ya telln ta hush.

    Dakota: we’ve got a secret video
    it says “please watch in the limo ride”!




    *VIDEO MESSAGE FROM IPAD*





    Shah: Hello, models! Good morning. You-

    Monica: AY AY AY!
    Is that el video massage!?

    Shah:
    *sigh* yes, Monica. I’m trying to explain the photoshoot brief to
    the models, perhaps you could help, sis!?

    Monica: AHHH! Ok! Modelos, we are giving you the mas duro
    challenge in EWFA herstory. Por your photoshoot, you each will be a part of a
    shoot we call...
    Cursed Images

    Shah: Yes ma'am now what we’re asking you to do is-


    Kurshid: Hairless trans Queen of the Elements #09, are you using technology to send a prerecorded
    message that reveals the contents of the next photoshoot? I would much appreciate the ability to
    shoehorn your message to give a lovely salutation to my son, Bigg Boss.
    You are doing so well and I am so prou-




    Shah: THANK YOU KURSHID, ANYWAYS.
    Cursed Images.
    These are usually unsettling crazy photos that have gone around the Internet for a few years.
    Underneath the table you will find 16 envelopes, grab one but do not open it yet until you get out of the limo.
    In those envelopes contains a different one word theme for each of you. You have to revolve your theme around that word. Now-



    Henny: HAI HENNS! OMG HENNS YOU GREAT!!!
    AMIRA SWEATY I LUV YOU KICK SHAHS
    GIRL OUT THIS WEEK



    Shah: Hennessey can you politely move out of the way bitch I’m explaining the photoshoot



    Henny: oi I’m jus giving me kids good advice! Congie, choose someone who breathes thru their
    nose so ya both wont implode the world wit ya mouf breathin-



    Shah: I HAVENT EXPLAINED THATPART YET.


    Ok, so the second part is that you each must find a partner of the opposite sex in this sea of LA people.
    Now choose wisely and remember that these are meant to be your extras. Next-



    Airuska: *walks into the room* ... oh PLEASE at least I had a hosting gig. If I went on Allstars I
    could’ve snatched it. You couldn’t even make the finale again let alone you lost to a girl who’s
    entire storyline was that her cat could talk AND f*cking Shah of all people.


    Shah:

    Cinta: No one would even know who you are if you weren’t bobbing on Sol’s manaconda


    Airuska: well at least I can find and keep a man.
    Don’t forget about you holding the Prime Minister of Canada hostage


    Cinta: bitch… THOSE CHARGES WERE DROPPED.



    Shah: NEXT AFTER FINDING YOUR EXTRA
    You need to start planning your photoshoot set and concept. You each will get $400 each to gather outfits and
    props for your set so CUT CORNERS. You all have 5 hours starting now to find your extras, gather your props and you’ll
    have the rest of the night to plan before your photoshoot tomorrow. Meet back here at 5pm sharp.
    Use your time wisely and good luck, g-

    Sol: heyyyy good lookin’

    Airuska: good morning to you too S-

    Sol: *looking at himself through the screen*
    eww not you I was talking about me



    Cinta:

    Airuska: sol what did i tell you about reading me in public

    shut the camera off-





    =====




    Dakota: *walking down the street; GASP*
    OMG is that...!?


    Milya: Yes… it’s me. Robbed Comeback Contestant of the Voy-





    Dakota: DEVORAH!?
    YOU CUT YOUR HAIR IT LOOKS GREAT!
    MILEY CYRUS IS SHAKING!


    Milya:




    Dakota: (conf.) Milya & I connected a lot after getting to know her. She looks stunning and I honestly
    we have the perfect concept for our shot. We got everything together so quickly that we had time to start
    building our set before the 5:00 deadline.


    Milya: Look I already know I look great but how do I look?

    Dakota: Sickening. Don’t move.

    *set falls on Milya*



    ---





    *on the side of the street*
    Wundy: now look, sis not only do we love Africa but, YOU are NOW
    a member of the Haus of mbwOOndisa


    Toq'to:

    Wundy: now ok, you’re officially my drag daughter! I feel a SPIRIT within you. If you’re gonna snatch
    the children’s wigs you GOTTA know how that in this Haus we WERK a good runway, so you gotta turn
    the party in these high heels! Show me what you got sis !

    Toq'to:


    Wundy: gurl i gotta get a FCO how am I gonna secure the tea if u walk like Laurent- *sigh*
    nvm lets start simple. In the Haus of Mbwundisa, we STAN American healthcare as well as American dirt!
    Are you prepared to stan America and GAG on the red white and blue eleGANZA!?



    Toq'to: I do not know Stan. Who is Stan. we do not know a Stan therefore we do not Stan.

    Wundy:

    *Uber pulls up*


    Wundy: get your shoes, Queen. The great cesspool of American capitalism WALMART closes
    in an hou- *opens the door* oh f*ck ME.

    Ivanka:

    Wundy: dammit already paid for the uber. get in, tokyo…. and just don’t…. touch nothing. so…
    *to Rei* has this nasty succubus witch tried to violate you yet, sissy?

    Rei:

    Ivanka:

    Wundy:

    Rei:

    Ivanka:

    Wundy:
    nasty bitch



    Ivanka:



    Wundy: bitch what the F*CK is in the cup



    Ivanka: dont ask me what’s in my cup




    Wundy:




    ---




    Bobby: *sleeping on a bench in the park*

    Hadley: bonjour uh… my name is Head-lee, and I have a dream to
    bee a beeg fashion modelle in americ-

    Bobby: *laying on the bench; snoring*

    Hadley: *snaps*


    Bobby: …. *wakes up**very soothing smooth, clearly high voice* woahhhhhh… is this
    little pancake talking to me… ??? woahhhhhhh.

    Hadley: enough sleepy time. we have to go to ze threeft store

    Bobby: ok… ok… yeah ok jus *starts to get up* … ok… *sits back down* no ok jus… *grabs Hadley
    to lay down with her*
    lets jus let’s jus … go climb the mountains ok…



    Hadley: WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE THIS!!!
    We gotta get outta here!!!!


    *grabs Bobby and carries him on her back; starts walking*

    Bobby: ok…. wow ok… wow woah ok talking pancake like… don’t panic ok…
    i think i might see Japan from up here




    ---



    Eric: (conf.)


    I am an excellent model scout. My partner needs models for his runway shows and collections and I’m always
    there to find prime talent in Quebec and abroad. Otw out I… hoped to help my young twinky teammate find his way.




    ---



    Ruggero: I’m-a so hoping you can-a help me. You are-a much a more confident-a… and … strong…
    and a handsome. You-a the best guy on fire and without you-a I would-a surely be gone.


    Eric: this is all 100% true and yes you’d probably be 12th place if I didn’t save you all three weeks but look…
    as someone who is barely out of your teens you’re probably not as keen on seizing the moment.
    Here’s an opportunity. See that sculpted faced Nubian beauty over there?

    Ruggero: y-Y-yes… I will-a woo that exotic beauty


    Eric: go score her! *Eric pushes Ruggero*

    Ruggero: *walks up to her*


    Giacarangi:

    Ruggero: I uh wow whew-a me uh *starts stumbling over his words*
    oh my ravioli spaghetti linguini big-a spicy meatball

    Giacarangi: …go on…

    Ruggero: you’re-a so-a

    Giacarangi:

    Ruggero: You are-a so-a black you are-a mammi mia you are-a dark
    and brown and black-

    Eric:


    Giacarangi:

    Ruggero: you-a are-a exotic black beautiful meatball I-a wish to
    use-a you in a photoshoot? Please?

    Giacarangi: You’re ridiculously ignorant but also pathetically adorable and tall and
    I wanna be on TV, so sure, I”ll be in your photoshoot.


    Ruggero: WOW THIS IS THE SPICIEST MEATBALL.
    I’M-A SO HAPPY THANK-A YOU FOR HELPING ME!


    Giacarangi:


    ---


    Eric: DAMMIT!? ITS ALREADY 3:00!?
    Oh god I only have 2 hours?
    HEY YOU! YOU, REDHEAD. WAIT THERE!

    *runs across the street*


    *deep panting*

    I … have… a … propo…. sition… for you…



    Testimonie:


    Eric: Bonjour, I’m scouting for a photoshoot that I will be participating in later today and
    I need a partner for the shoot. Are you interested?

    Testimonie: ohhh yessss silver fox


    Eric: Ok great what are your credentials?


    Testimonie: I did apply to mannequin 2…



    Eric: oh really!? I LOVED Mannequin!

    Testimonie: yessir but they thought it would be cute to cut both the big
    girls and take two white twins instead who have the exact same fa-

    Eric: can you move at all? I need a partner who has good rhythm.

    Testimonie:
    hell yeah watch this


    Eric: omggg I don’t have time to look for someone else!!!

    Look. Your gonna have to do but I have a lot writing on this.
    You need to do what I say, when I say it. Got it!?

    Testimonie:
















    ...

  2. #884
    .









    . X .


    WEEK 3:: THE GUY WHO FALLS DOWN AN UP ESCALATOR (2/3)

    __________________________




    Nibiru:OMG BOBBY BLUE!? THE BIGG BOSS FROM
    EARTH WATER FIRE & AIR!?

    BB: Uh, yeah! That’s me!

    Nibiru:OMGGGG I LOVE YOU ON THE SHOW. LOOK IVE BEEN STANNING
    YOU SINCE YOU GOT ON! YOU WON THAT FCO AND I WAS LIKE YES.


    BB: Aww thanks so much. I’ve been really working hard to kick Joaquin’s ass with COA.

    Nibiru: OMG look youre gonna do it so good. I’ve been stanning but is there any
    bts tea we don’t know about!? Any offscreen hookups, preferably offscreen GAY hookups!?
    I LOVE EWFA showmances!!!!
    MY FAVE WAS U AND VAL-

    BB: SHHH DONT SPEAK ITS NAME… im not too sure. Ive heard some noises coming from Air room
    but that could always be just Ivanka and all the missing fruits and vegetables latel-

    Mysterious Cloaked Figure:



    BB:


    Mysterious Cloaked Figure & BB:


    Nibiru: OMG WHATS WRONG!?


    BB: …uh. NOTHING. Nothing. *traumatized*

    I just… swear I saw… an old enemy.



    *BB & Nibiru starting walking away*


    Mysterious Cloaked Figure & BB:



    Mysterious Figure:
    ahuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhoo~







    ---






    Inder: (conf.)


    Being in the bottom two again last week was the scariest thing I’ve ever experienced.
    I’m so afraid of failing and ofc, today is a new day but… jeez am I just overcome with…
    so much anxiety… it uh… today was embarrassingly bad.



    Where do I start…. So I went to a nearby mosque to pray bc I’ve had so much on my mind.


    ---


    *outside at the Mosque*
    Inder: *after praying; sitting on a bench outside*
    Jihanni: *also walking out of the mosque; trips on Inder’s foot*

    Inder: OH I’m so sorry.

    Jihanni: Oi, ets, foine. I tripped me leg on ya foot INNIT?


    Inder: You sound terrible, but you look gorgeous. Have you ever thought about modeling?


    Jihanni: oi loive Henny on the telly ya on. She’s smashing innit?

    Inder: Well I’m in need of a partner for the shoot? Are you available.

    Jihanni: ye oi gutta free schedule for the day’s rest innit? Ya hot stuff, mate, oi’ll do et fa free.

    -

    Inder: (voiceover)
    So I was happy because that still left me about $300 and 4.5 hours.
    I felt really good about everything. But then the fear of being in the bottom hit me and then…

    -

    Inder:*stomach gurgling*




    ---



    Idina: (conf.)


    I was scavenging around for a guy, and nothing really seemed to stick
    out to me. So I went to a bookstore just to calm my nerves for a bit.


    ---


    Idina:*sits down at a table with coffee; turns to look at who she’s sitting directly across from*


    *GASP*




    GAVIN!?


    Gavin:





    Idina: OH MY GOD, GAVIN FROM MANNEQUIN 2!?


    Gavin:
    Uh, yes. It’s me. Idina, right? From The Industry.

    Idina: OMG Wow, wow. I can’t believe we’re meeting right now.

    I had the producers send an ANGRY letter on my behalf when you were cut.
    WHY did they cut you!?

    Gavin: *I* don’t even know why I was cut.

    but it’s ok you win some you lose some. Let’s talk about you on EWFA, tho! Top 8!

    Idina: It’s good but… I’m not doing as WELL as I wished I was.

    Gavin: Well a lot of that’s mental. When you really want something as bad as EWFA,
    the hardest modeling competition out there, you can’t get in your head too much.
    You gotta go with the flow.


    Idina: omg thank you… I uh… I’m looking for a partner for this
    weeks photoshoot.. I… was wondering if you were interested?

    Gavin: Well, after getting rejected, I’m not so sure modeling will work
    out but for you? I’ll give it one last go.


    Idina:






    ---




    *Idina & Gavin leaving the Barnes & Nobles, walk toward the bathroom*

    Idina: Are those EWFA cameramen?
    *walks up to Jihanni*
    Hi, I’m Idina, nice to meet you, are you with
    a EWFA guy, perhaps, right now?

    Jihanni: Uhh.. grey-tan boy, hairy chest, horrifyingly large
    brown lips, huge nipples, vanishing personality.

    Idina & Gavin: (look at each other; in unison)
    Inder.

    Jihanni: poor blokes been hit wit the nerve guts n
    we don have much time fur THIS.
    LETS GO PLEASE.






    ---



    *at a diner*

    Osanna:


    Hadley:
    *carrying Bobby; walking and sees Osanna eating outside a diner*
    fatass?



    Osanna: OMG HEY HADDLES!
    How’s it going!?





    Hadley: *breaking down*Terrible. I’ve been carrying around zees high twink for the past
    three blocks. I’m exhausted and hes been talking about ze f*cken mountains ALL DAY.




    Bobby: hi...hello...is... is that tu… tuvi right?



    Osanna: OMG he’s gorgeous! He’s probably just got the munchies.
    Here have a lobster tail.


    Bobby:
    LOBSTER TAIL!?


    Hadley: I thought you said you was on ze diet?



    Osanna: I am! This is WITHOUT the butter.

    You seem tired, sis!


    Hadley: I’m just so exhausteed… I’m a so narvous I could
    be in the bottom again… And I might bring our team down.


    Osanna: look sweetie. I might be riding high on this insane FCO victory but I’ve lost a comp before… I know it
    hurts right now being in the bottom. But we all have our down days. You’ve just had yours… several times…


    But look you’ve got a gorgeous homeless little weedhead and pounds of talent. Make it work, doll.
    Remember, We’re Monica & JoaKING’s girls. Not Shah & Leo’s flops.


    Hadley: you’re right. Merci, Osanna… You have such a tremendous heart.

    Osanna: One WITHOUT high cholesterol. Checked today!

    Hadley: I’m just too tired to carry booby all the way to the thrift store.
    Btw how had you even had time to find a partner!?

    Osanna: oh don’t worry. Storme can drive us, he gets off work in 5 mins he can take us.


    Storme: you’re total is $10.34 plus the $130 fee for being in your photo sh*t and driving
    you and your caucasian chaos crew around. you better pay up too bc I need this to
    get out of my speeding ticket


    Osanna: OMG ofc! Don’t worry your little scrunchy-faced poorly designed head about that!
    You go clock out and meet us back here in 5, genderbent comic book ripoff. I have a plan!



    Hadley: Osanna that’s almost HALF your budget! You can’t pay for this you’re gonna
    have no money to do your shoot! How are you gonna pay for thi-
    oh I see you’re stealing it out of Bobby’s wallet.


    Osanna:


    Bobby: *oblivious* omg ………………….. hadleysaffggjnk;
    look I have a great idea ….. lets go climb the mountains~





    ===




    Cynddelw: (conf.)


    Dydw i ddim yn dda iawn wrth gyfarfod â phobl Rwy'n ifanc ifanc sydyn ac nid wyf yn siarad Saesneg.
    Felly, mae fy mhrawd da, Laurentine wedi penderfynu fy helpu i ddod o hyd i bartner ar gyfer fy ffotograffau.


    Rough Subtitles: I'm not really good at meeting people I'm a young young man suddenly and I do not speak English.
    So, my good brother, Laurentine has decided to help me find a partner for my photos.



    ---




    *at the mall*




    Cynddelw:
    Microphone Translation: helo! we seek for beautiful human female ladies to pose with us.


    *sad sigh*


    Laurentine: Listen, we’re gonna have a good time, Cyn. I believe in you.
    I believe in us.

    Cynddelw:


    Laurentine: We're gonna find us a couple beautiful girls and get this
    show on the road, win more FCOs and make Daddy Sol & Mother Ruska pro-





    *trips & falls down an UP escalator*



    --



    Laurentine: (conf.)


    Oh great… my first step out recreationally of the house and I
    eat it on the ground… It was so embarrassing.
    I always forget my f*cking glasses.




    --




    Sunset: Listen you didn’t get this tea from me, but when I noticed the audacity she had to look at me in
    the eyes, I fired her immediately. I don’t have time for #thatpart. Not in MY lawfir-
    what the f*ck kind of a freakshow is this…





    Laurentine: *still falling down an UP escalator*
    it's ok folks i got it- wait-


    nope.... wait... wait. I- ... nope.


    Random Bystanders: *no one attempts to help*



    Nilla & Sunset:



    Nilla: *HYENA CACKLING*



    Cynddelw to the Rescue:



    *Cynddelw “catches” Laurentine*


    Laurentine: Wow, thank you so much Cyn! You saved my life!
    I thought that was never gonna end.


    Cynddelw: *Megaphone very close to his ears*
    Rydych chi'n ddall dall ond mae'n rhaid i mi eich amddiffyn, brawd. Rydych chi'n ddiogel gyda mi.

    Rough Subtitles: You’re a blind idiot but I must protect you, brother. You are safe with me.





    Nilla: *still cackling*



    Sunset: OMG! NILLA THAT’S NOT fun- *tries to hide laughter*
    THAT’S NOT FUNNY. HE’S PROBABLY VISUALLY CHALLENGED!
    *runs to Laurentine* Are you okay?


    Laurentine: Oh, I’m fine! I just slip up a little sometimes
    when I don’t wear my glasses I’m legally bli-


    Sunset: F*CK that. I’m Sunset Littlehorse, Native American lawyer.
    I can sue this place for everything they’ve got AND more!
    Clearly they should’ve put a sign up for you!



    Nilla: …Sunset… how would he be able to see the sign if he’s blind…



    Sunset: And you *to Cynddelw* look, we can definitely sue the plastic surgeon that
    f*cked up your face like that. I will get you
    CASH SETTLEMENTS.




    Cynddelw: omg
    Rough Subtitles: omg





    Laurentine: but no were fine, we’re actually looking for two models to be extras in our newest
    photoshoot? We’ve got $400 each to build two sets if you’re both interested-


    Nilla:

    Sunset:
    $400!?


    OH PSHH. SCREW THAT! I will get you AT LEAST $1,000 each WITHIN
    THE HOUR. BRB. *dials a few numbers; walks off*


    Laurentine: *to Nilla* Thanks so much for all your help,
    you’re helping me & Cynddelw a bunch.


    Nilla: Oh ofc, I watch the show and I’m so on you guys’ teams you’re great.


    Laurentine: Let me guess, Albino?

    Nilla: ...yes! How’d you know!?


    Laurentine: Even an almost fully blind person can sense someone with a tough exterior.
    You’ve been through a tough life, it resonates.


    Nilla: Well that’s sweet. Thank you. Your friend over there seems… really nice too.


    Random Lady: *to Cynddelw* Hello sir, which way is the Charlotte Russe?

    Cynddelw: *pointing her in the right direction*

    Laurentine: He’s a sweetheart. A frighteningly supple sweetheart.


    Sunset:
    $1,000 each for your photoshoots.


    Laurentine: Alright well we have no time to waste!
    CYNDDELW! Let’s go!


    Cynddelw:
    Mae gennych chi ddiwrnod hyfryd, ma'am.

    Rough Subtitles:
    You have a lovely day, ma’am.










  3. #885
    .









    . X .


    WEEK 3:: THE GUY WHO FALLS DOWN AN UP ESCALATOR (3/3)

    __________________________








    Amira: *applying makeup on Akira*
    So you’ve been in a rock band?

    Akira: Aw yeah, sort of a nighttime gig. Finlay Nesbitt’s a huge inspo
    so that’s why I said yes in a heartbeat.

    Amira: that’s wonderful.


    Akira: …you, uh… you seem a little somber, girl? …pause, what’s going on?

    Amira: *sigh* I was doing really really well, me and my teammate Cong Mae-

    Akira: the elephant seal girl with crooked teeth?

    Amira: no that’s Perchuhi, that one with the 12 kids.

    Akira: oh the alcoholic one

    Amira: I was in the bottom two last week and… *sigh* I almost got my dream snatched away from me…
    *starts crying* I really don’t think anything makes happier than going to a photoshoot and dressing up
    like a clown … it’s all I’m meant to do and I just want this so badly-


    Akira: aww, there the- wait wait is it safe to hug you? …
    We gotta really respect women’s personal space these days.

    Amira: it’s fine I’m ace your dick is worthless to me


    Akira: ok… there there lady. I just met you and I can feel the energy and fire inside of you.
    You gotta own it and manifest it. Bring all that out. You gotta prove to those judges how bad you want this
    and that you’ll do it anything to get it. Reminds me of when I was in high school and we had this battle
    of the bands. Prize was 300 bucks. I was stoked. By the end of our set, we set that thing on FIRE.
    We gave em a night they’d never forget… god we massacred. 300 well earned.
    They felt it burning in our veins… 1st prize…

    Amira:
    …. Akira… you’re a genius….


    Akira: haha I know I … wait…

    …..no.

    Amira: *goes to go talk to the Producers*


    Akira: WAIT WAIT I DIDNT MEAN LITERAL FIRE!?!?!?!
    AMIRAAAA!!!





    ---



    *at a Starbucks*

    Perchuhi: eww,, what we do here in a STARbucks this is... very,, causcaian

    Estelle:
    Listen, I’m a German White girl, if I can’t drown myself in Jägermeister,
    then Starbucks is my next best option. It'll only be a minute, Perch.

    Hello, can I get a nice hot coffee.

    Katrine: Sure! What size would you like.


    Estelle:

    Oh......... mein Gott...

    Katrine:

    Komm weider?


    Estelle: omg you’re German, too.

    I, uh, I have a-


    Katrine: You’re on the EWFA show, right? E… Essie… Estelle!

    Estelle: *gasp* OMG. YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?


    Katrine: We call you Giraffe Girl! We love you around here!
    HEY, DALG! LOOK ITS GIRAFFE GIRL!

    Dalgliesh: oh my GOD. Its even freakier in person.

    Estelle:THANK YOU!

    Me & a girlfriend of mine are looking for extras in our next photoshoot.
    Would you guys be interested?

    Katrine: Well… idk if I’d be great at it but… maybe if you showed me how to model?


    Estelle: YES. YES, YES, YES. COME U- WITH. ME. NOW.


    Dalgliesh: Sure, we get off in about 10. So who am I posing with? Hadley? Idina? Fatass?

    Estelle:
    Uh… not exactly.

    Perchuhi:


    Dalgliesh:


    Perchuhi:


    Dalgliesh:


    Katrine: oh come on, dalg! Do it for EWFA!

    Dalgliesh:


    Perchuhi:


    Dalgliesh:

    why did i have to get the ugly one


    Perchuhi: i am shaking 2 meet u ,, are so scary lookng yet fierce we r , going 2 look
    seksci n we will do lots of things 4 attention

    Estelle:


    Katrine:

    Well, give me a minute and we’ll have you guys two lattes on us on our way ou-


    *FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING...









    Cong Mae BARGES in*

    Estelle: OMG HEY CONG MAE HEY SIS!

    Cong Mae: g’mornin longneck. g’murnting 2 u too big nose.



    Perchuhi: *pushes Estelle*
    hi,, gud morneng .. bayou girlfriend


    Cong Mae: *to Katrine* you.

    you beddah gimmee a barbecue sauce henny frappe large wit sum
    chewin tabaccer and funyuns sprinkled on top. pronto.

    Katrine:

    we… don’t carry ANY of that in a starbuck-

    Cong Mae: imma do u like i do m’ bebes when they don wanna clean dere rooms.
    Imma count ta’ three n when if I dun have that drink n m’ hands by da
    time I light this cigarette, ya gettin ya ass beat. Wun… 2… … …...


    Estelle: *whispers* LOOK SHE’S NOT KIDDING.
    SHE GETS CONFUSED AFTER TWO THIS IS YOUR CHANCE.
    GO GO GO

    Katrine:


    Estelle: So hows the search for your partner going, Congie? I really want you
    to kill it this week, it killed me to see you bottom half last week.

    Cong Mae: look, cher. ive pop 12 brats out m’downstairs ok. i live on the bayou in a boat. i wuz givin m’gurl,
    ameera a pep talk afta ha bottom 2 so she could do gud. i liv ma life wit dis motto:

    (Cong Mae's 'Lyfe Motta')
    if i finda man imma hav' 6 kids wit em,
    if i dun finda man, imma hav' 6 kids wit sum1 else.



    Estelle: you have such a great heart. you must be an amazing mothe-
    OH my god, WHO is that.


    ???: *mysterious figure sitting in the dark corner of the Starbucks*


    Katrine: *runs back; panting furiously with Cong Mae’s White Trash concoction*

    Cong Mae: … oh ya, TREE. Ya win this roun’, whitey. *grabs drink*


    Estelle: WHO is that guy, Katrine!?

    Katrine:*deep panting* …. He’s … a guy… that always just shows up…
    and just sits… in the corner of the store… just watching people…

    Cong Mae: ah well he gutta hav’ smthn ta do t’day.
    AYY BOO. U WIT DA EYES N’ DA DARK.
    YA GUNNA BE N MY SHOOT, AIGHT?

    Nikita:


    Dialgliesh:*sigh* … alright I’m… sadly ready to go.

    Perchuhi:

    Cong Mae: gimme da keys n lemme go ta Walmart wit this $400
    ill drive da car im da quen of cutting coupons



    ---



    Producer: Now you have to realize, if you sign this, you are waiving responsibility of the show
    on you in case something goes awry or an emergency.

    Amira: I’ll take my chances thank you. *signing waiver*


    Akira: AMIRA, look I know you wanna win this competition and prove the judges
    wrong but this just isn’t the safe route to go-

    Amira: you don’t know how badly I want this, akira.


    Akira: Look I’d never EVER be able to forgive myself if you got hurt, ok.
    Is this all really worth you scorching yourself alive!?

    Amira: *finishes signing* …close your eyes. think about the greatest thing you could’ve ever imagined being
    dangled in front of your face. Your wildest dream right there. Walking the Victoria’s Secret runway… golden chastity belt.
    Every man in the audience on the edge of ecstasy, every woman feeling empowered.

    Akira: this is a really freaky dream

    Amira: That dream so close you can taste it, and all I need is Hennessey to sign that check and Lisbeth to
    crown me. And I’m gonna do whatever it f*cking takes to get my diamond encrusted chastity belt.
    I don’t care if I burn my arms off. It’s worth it.

    Akira: ... if you say so.

    Amira: Now go put on your tux… we’re getting married.




    =====



    A full RP where 32 people got AT LEAST one line, TMU!? Is this REAL!?
    Yes, sissy, it is.

    I’m not lying when I say that this shoot is gonna take me some time to conceptualize, but it will definitely be worth the wait.
    This’ll tide you guys over until then.
    Keep checking around for a brand new update whenever it’ll be!
    Find out how the models & their extras will perform. Plus, meet the Shadow Twists’ extras also...


    ...when EWFAX returns.




    ya'll probably:




    ===



    For now, here’s some more tea.


    KEY of EXTRAS

      Spoiler:  













    . X .




    aja
    . bebe. bendelacreme. kennedy. shangela. trixie.

    ...

  4. #886
    Valar Morghulis JayVirus's Avatar
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    Why her not Chartrue , Ivory or WINTER good to see her tho I hope she performs this time
      Spoiler:  
    who are those the upcoming models for a new resurrection season? I will never have a model in ewfa
    NO SANA NO LIFE








  5. #887
    Your dad calls me Cleooo Cleopatra2011's Avatar
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    Achievements










  6. #888
    💃 badgalboroz's Avatar
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    OMG THIS IS HILARIOUS HOW IN THE HECK DO YOU KEEP GETTING BETTER AND BETTER :00000

    I know this is the ~final~ cycle but in case it's not - literally Nibiru, Giacarangi, Katrine, Nikita, Storme, Dalgliesh an BOBBY for future cycles <333333
    I'm not gonna say who but some of these are even better than some of the semifinalists.
    Apply For My New Fic ''Last Bitch Standing'':
    [X]

  7. #889
    look away skixoid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JayVirus View Post
    Why her not Chartrue , Ivory or WINTER good to see her tho I hope she performs this time
      Spoiler:  
    who are those the upcoming models for a new resurrection season? I will never have a model in ewfa

    Cause she's pretty

    Anyways, thank you so much for having Milya. Loved this RP, I think I'm going to stan for BOBBY, STORME, DIAGLIESH, Jihanni, and Giacarangi
    I cannot wait to see the shadow twists' pairs also
    EWFA X: *click here*
    ANTM: Coura, Kyla

    BNTM | eLouai
    >>VOTE HERE.<<

  8. #890
    Whiskas's Avatar
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    this rp was SO FUN to read, i can't believe u have had the patience to include everyone AND their pairs

    - henny disturbing shah when she's trying to explain things
    - the whole concept of cursed images
    - the whole concept of having 400 dollars and 5 hrs to get ready
    - not stanning
    - ivanka's cup
    - hadley carrying bobby around
    - ruggero asking gia to join her
    - bobby blue still being traumatised
    - jihanni the sister of henn
    - inder diarrheaing
    - gavin being sexy and shading the twins
    - osanna encouraging hadley
    - cyn speaking his language
    - laurentine falling
    - 1000 dollars
    - cong mae counting to 3
    - perchuhi having a nose
    - amira setting things on fire


  9. #891
    Valar Morghulis JayVirus's Avatar
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    BUT srsly WHAT AN EFFIN HILARIOUS RP THS IS !!!
    NO SANA NO LIFE








  10. #892
    Legendary GGLoki's Avatar
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    WINANKA AND REI IN ONE SHOOT CAN YOU IMAGINE

    #AN ENCOUNTER LIKE NO OTHER #THE DIVINE 2

  11. #893
    Omg that’s some good ****! Loved this tea, the shoot sounds absolutely awesome, CAN NOT WAIT SWEATY!!!!

  12. #894




    Happy Valentine's Day, ewfags.

    While Joaquin dines his precious bonita with Spanish foods she can't even begin to pronounce correctly...
    ...and Sol feeds his wife countless amounts of chocolates and mocks her in the process....
    ...and Shah wakes up to a full electric rendition of LaQuisha Azalea's hit "See Me With Them Feet" performed by Finlay...


    Patience is a virtue while waiting on the newest Cursed Images shoot,
    but I can give you the tea on all the theme words that the models randomly
    chose for them and their partners:






    Capture...................Nightmare
    Healing..................Conspiracy
    Curse.........................Embrace
    Asylum.........................Puppet
    Fool..........................Obsession
    Invasion..........................Crime
    Ghost..........................Sacrifice
    Wedding................Experiment
    Cult..........................Possession
    Betrayal.............................
    Art


    More updates coming soon; stay tuned...


    Me, when I post this shoot:



    Ya'll:


    aja
    . bebe. bendelacreme. kennedy. shangela. trixie.

    ...

  13. #895
    drippin' in finesse Moniqua's Avatar
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    BB AND NIBURU TOGETHER?!?


  14. #896
    Legendary GGLoki's Avatar
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    anticipating

    #AN ENCOUNTER LIKE NO OTHER #THE DIVINE 2

  15. #897
    RTVG Idol Vashhee's Avatar
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    When it comes down to it: we stan.

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