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Thread: Survivor Ep 9 Recap: Austin's Powerless; Panamanian Man of Misery

  1. #1

    Survivor Ep 9 Recap: Austin's Powerless; Panamanian Man of Misery

    Survivor: Exile Island Episode 9


    Well, here we are again. Survivor night and I should be excited. But seriously, I'm running out of viable options to cheer for. I like Terry, he's capable and dominant in challenges, but his strategic skills just aren't quite there. Austin has a bit more of a strategic mind, but he's been a bit ineffectual. If Shane were to win it would strike a blow for the mentally ill; ditto for Courtney, but I really can't get excited about them winning? And I truly feel that God's plan for this earth couldn't possibly include Aras taking all the marbles. I guess I just have to hope the Immunity Idol will shake things up as last weeks previews promised.
    As is traditional, we start the show with the Survivors discussing the previous night's vote. The talk of the town is Austin's revelation that he could have hung in the immunity challenge longer, but wanted to seem a little weak so he dropped early. Everyone is pretty much baffled about what exactly is the truth. Actually I'm baffled too. But since Nick was voted out instead of Austin, his plan might've worked? But now his pride has gotten him into trouble? Because he had to tell everyone that he gave up to look weak, now no one trusts him! Imagine! someone lying or misleading others on Survivor! Unheard of! Aras, Danielle and Courtney are absolutely disgusted that Austin would resort to trickery to avoid getting voted out. Aras deems him a "slimeball" and compares La Mina to the slimy snails that form the bulk of the Survivors diet. I suppose snails, like most animals, are concerned with self preservation and, I don't know, maybe they would mislead other snails in order to survive, so maybe thats fair enough. I'm just trying to think of a smug, arrogant, obnoxiously self righteous animal to compare Aras to? I don't think there's an animal that annoying.
    Terry, meanwhile, is once again trying to figure out if he can bring anyone over to his side. I guess since it worked so good last time. Well he has little choice, so he's gotta try. Tree mail arrives and promises some kind of challenge involving politics. This is potentially good news thinks Sally, as it may open up cracks in Casaya's armour. Casaya appears to agree as they all look a little horrified by the prospect.
    We go to Challenge Beach and Probst explains the gist of it. The Survivors will be divided into three teams. Each has a boat and a box of 100 coconuts. The coconuts are to be deposited in your opponents boats, your boat is then to be rowed to a float upon which rests a flag and a fishing net. These being retrieved, its back to the beach, fill your net with the coconuts deposited in your boat by your opponents, drag them back to the box and fill up the box. And Hey Presto, first one to do so wins reward. The politics, it seems, comes in when you decide whos boat to deposit your coconuts in.
    The three (apparently randomly selected) teams are Shane, Terry and Austin; Bruce, Aras and Sally; and Danielle, Courtney and Cirie. Aras immediately targets the team with the two slimy snails, Terry and Austin. Its not too long before he convinces Danielle, Cirie and Courtney to do the same.
    This goes on for awhile, highlights include Bruce comically fumbling a load of coconuts & Probst repeatedly talking about coconuts as the camera lingers on Danielle's bikini top. A lowlight would have to be Shanes weird looking short shorts which reveal the whitest, pastiest thighs seen in Panama since a certain astronaut left the islands. Nick apparently left his socks for Cirie when he left, is it possible Dan left his freakishly pale thighs for Shane? Anyways, the all girls team gets hopelessly left behind and Aras's and Terry's teams are neck and neck, But all the extra coconuts that Aras arrranged to find their way into Terry's boat take their toll. Aras, Sally and Bruce win reward. Which means they will be picked up and taken somewhere for breakfast in bed. Well, they say politics makes strange bedfellows. They also have to pick someone from each of the other tribes to go to Exile Island. Aras, with no hesitation, banishes Austin and Danielle. Probst in characteristic terse fashion dismisses the assembly.
    The next morning the tribe is awake and the reward winners are antsy, waiting for their ride. Burnett has apparently set the weather generator on "Deluge" and gone out for a lingering brunch. Finally a boat comes and for whatever reason, the trio is not allowed to sit in the cabin, but rather is directed to sit in the bow, perhaps to act as a sort of rainshield to prevent the yacht from getting wet. As the boat motors to its destination with Bruce, Sally and Aras up front being buffeted by wind, rain and waves, this is starting to look a lot more like a punishment than a reward. They arrive at what, on a sunny day, must be a beautiful beach.
    Today, however, its looking a little desolate, windswept, storm tossed .... in a word, miserable. A four poster bed which in more clement weather might seem romantic, stands rather forlornly on the sand. If the Survivors balked at getting into a cold soggy bed in the middle of a monsoon, it has been edited out, and Burnett's goons have compelled them to get in and smile. Only on Survivor would being given the opportunity to get into a drenched bed to eat with two virtual strangers pass as a reward. It seems more like something out of a Guantanamo Bay interrogators bag of tricks to me. Sally calls it the best meal she has ever had. I suppose the nature of survivor is such that these people are so starved, both for food and for something different to do, that if you stuck them in the bottom of a dank pit and threw bacon on them they would act as if you were their personal saviour.
    Back at camp, Terry is trying to look for weaknesses to exploit. In the guise of idle chitchat, he gets Shane to admit that his projected final four is Aras, Cirie, Courtney and himself. This could be subterfuge on Shane's part, but its just as likely that hes feeling cocky enough to let his guard down a little. Terry now knows that he will need to concentrate on Bruce and Danielle.
    Back at camp, Terry is trying to look for weaknesses to exploit. In the guise of idle chitchat, he gets Shane to admit that his projected final four is Aras, Cirie, Courtney and himself. This could be subterfuge on Shane's part, but its just as likely that hes feeling cocky enough to let his guard down a little. Terry now knows that he will need to concentrate on Bruce and Danielle.
    The camp is surprised to see the breakfast club coming back early. I guess lounging in a bed after breakfast with a copy of the weekend paper was not a pleasant option, given the swampy quality of their mattress and linens. Now we have the familiar scene of reward winners, notably Sally, enthusiastically describing their meal, as the others, notably Cirie, express frustration and jealousy. Apparently Sally consumed 15(!) slices of bacon. Which I don't think can be good for anyone, starving or not!
    But wait, are we forgetting someone? Whatever became of poor Austin and Danielle, sent to nasty old Exile Island? Well, it seems Burnett has really had the waterworks turned on over there. Our intrepid pair have pretty much spent a night and day huddled under a blanket coming up with variations of the phrase "this sucks." If there is anything interesting about this, its that they each allude to bonding and hint about future cooperative possibilities. Hmm, this could be playing right into Terry's plans!
    Speaking of Terry, he chooses this time to tell Sally that he has the immunity idol. Sally is excited to the point of almost "pooping her pants". Its against my better judgement to comment on this but...I said all that bacon wasn't good. Anyway she's happy that the game could change for the better. And now we head to Challenge Beach for the Immunity Challenge. Probst is looking happy even returning Bruce's familiar Shaka sign with a smile. I guess he spent last night somewhere with a roof. He brings in Danielle and Austin looking bedraggled and seems to delight in their tale of woe and misery. Then he explains the challenge. It's a complicated affair, a four stage elimination contest. First dig your way under a fence. The first six move on from that. The second phase consists of a coloured rock brain teaser and a hill and maze combo. Best three move on from there. The third phase is a tricky rope bridge affair where you have to keep moving your planks, then jump into the water and up a sand hill. Final two go on from there. The final challenge is another climbing and crawling sort of maze. The race begins and it would seem the skinnier people would have and advantage here. They need a smaller hole to squeeze under the fence. Aras is quickly half way through but gets stuck. Courtney and Shane are next to squeeze part way through. Aras is trying to use his butt to deepen his hole, to comic effect.
    Sally, I suppose, spent more time in her preliminary digging and pops through and finishes first. Danielle is next through, almost leaving her bikini top behind and provides the fuzzy spot editing guy a chance to ply his craft. Courtney does the same thing emerging from under the fence with a alarming case of plumbers butt. Terry is next to finish (you didn't think he would be out of it so soon did you?) The others seem to be struggling, but Shane manages to get through. The final finisher is Austin who seems to have spent alot of time digging, not so much squeezing under. Aras, humourously, is still trapped in the spot he began in a few seconds into the competition.
    The brain teaser is up next, so we'll get the chance to judge who is smart and who is not so much. Place your bets! Austin is done first. Well, he's a writer, so I assume his mind is sharp. Sally is next, she seems fairly intelligent. Terry is third, which makes it look like Casaya is outgunned in intelligence. Danielle is next, then Courtney and Shane, who I'm quite sure will never admit to being dumber than any of these people. They are in the maze and the original order seems to be holding up. "Danielle's falling out of it!" Probst says. Not now she's not, that was earlier, Probst! The survivors formerly known as La Mina; Austin, Sally and Terry move on to the next challenge. Austin apparently feeling the effects of his miserable stay on E.I. gets left behind on this one. Terry narrowly edges out Sally. The final challenge has a rather exciting finish with Terry somersaulting accross the line to once again win immunity, furthering his Tom-like reputation. He gets a round of applause from Austin, the others, no doubt, cursing him under their breath.
    Tonight's final strategy wingding before Tribal council should be a juicy one. We've got a budding relationship between Austin and Danielle. We have the fact that Aras sent Danielle to Exile Island. We have Shane's revelation of his final four plans. We have the immunity idol coming out of hiding. If all this isn't enough to shake things up nothing will. Austin figures he's gone, that is, until Terry tells him about the immunity idol. Terry's plan is to bring Bruce over, offer Danielle the immunity idol to join their team and vote out Aras. Hey, its worth a shot. Aras, meanwhile is directing his minions to vote out Sally, just in case Terry has the immunity idol and gives it to Austin. Courtney strenuously disagrees with the plan and each feels the other is stupid. People are starting to get a little frightened by the idea of the immunity idol. And by people, I mean Aras.
    Austin and Terry bring their plan into action, offering Danielle the immunity idol, having already let Bruce in on it. Danielle, who up until now hasn't had a whole lot to say, remarks that things are really heating up. Terry has offered to give her the Immunity "Item" and that the "ball is in her hand." No wonder she hasn't said much! The final preparations for Tribal Council show Bruce sharing a warm handshake and chest bump with Austin and Aras hoping he doesn't "get a whammy". Hmm... seems a little like Burnett is misdirecting us here. But we'll see.
    At Tribal Council, Probst starts with the pointed questions. He asks Aras about the Reward Challenge strategy, that is, having his team and the girls team work against the Terry, Shane and Austin trio. He says its all about taking away their advantage, etc, etc. Cirie, who usually like sto keep her mouth shut, is apparently feeling a lot more confident in her position and calls Aras out, saying that the strategy, above all, favoured Aras's team. Which is true. But Aras hates having his motives questioned, or he hates the truth, or something, so he gives Cirie a "you're dead after Tribal Council" look. Probst then starts trying to stir the pot with Danielle and Bruce, basically saying "are you guys going to take control. or are you going to go along until they vote you out?" They give non comittal answers. Then he sends the gang off to vote.
    The votes are counted and...its Austin. So...all that strategy stuff meant nothing? Probst tells him to bring his torch for snuffin'...unless he has the Immunity Item. He fumbles with something...no, he's just picking up his bag. Dammit Burnett! Nothing happened! This whole show was a farce! Nobody did anything!!! Austin goes and I'm feeling ripped off. Probst reminds the group that theyare voting people off to form the jury, just to, you know, let 'em know, and sends them packing.
    Austin's final words are the usual sort of thing...it was hard, I like my tribe, good luck to Terry...Nothing profound, but pleasant enough. I'd say, overall, he didn't suck. He gave it a good shot. Sorry Writer boy. I don't think you were that popular? But I liked you well enough.
    Next week, Terry upsets his tribemates by pointing out that he wins immunity a lot. The truth can hurt. So can getting your ass stuck under a fence for 20 minutes. Am I right Aras? Also Shane has a medical problem that he needs Nurse Cirie to look at. Its...how can I put this delicately?...in the wangal area. Cirie, I'd refer him to the show's doctor...and whatever you do, don't let him trick you into touching anything! Shane dropping his pants...how is this inducement to watch next week? Well, I guess I have to, its my job. If you choose to forgo it, come back here, I'll let you know what happened (don't worry, I'll try to be vague about Shane's medical condition!) See you then!
    kungfu

    (Pictures obtained from the CBS.com Survivor website, and are the property of CBS)

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    For More Survivor news: http://www.sirlinksalot.net/survivorpanama.html
    Trying is the first step towards failure...

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by kungfuhippie
    Imagine! someone lying or misleading others on Survivor! Unheard of!
    Yeah, really - it's unbelieveable how stupid these people are


    Quote Originally Posted by kungfuhippie
    Nick apparently left his socks for Cirie when he left, is it possible Dan left his freakishly pale thighs for Shane?
    That was an EW moment if I ever saw one!

    Quote Originally Posted by kungfuhippie
    Sally is excited to the point of almost "pooping her pants". Its against my better judgement to comment on this but...I said all that bacon wasn't good.


    Quote Originally Posted by kungfuhippie
    Aras is trying to use his butt to deepen his hole, to comic effect.
    So funny - didn't know he had such a BIG BUTT!

    Quote Originally Posted by kungfuhippie
    Dammit Burnett! Nothing happened! This whole show was a farce! Nobody did anything!!! Austin goes and I'm feeling ripped off.
    My sentiments exactly!
    -- -- --------

    Great Recap Kungfu - as usual!!

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