ANTM7 ? Episode 1 Recap Part One ? I Do Not A Like A These A Young BEEEEEACHES!

[GlitterxGold]

ANTM7 ? Episode 1 Recap Part One ? I Do Not A Like A These A Young BEEEEEACHES!

Two trailer park twins go round the outside, round the outside, round the outside. Guess who?s back?..back again?..Tyra?s back, tell a friend. *lights cig, takes a puff and blows it out slow* I?ve created a monster, cuz nobody wants to see Naomi no more - they want Tyra, I?m chopped liver. But if you want GxG this is what I?ll give ya, a couple of twins, some fierce divas, and a Reese Whitherspoon look-alike rapper. Welcome to Cycle 7 of America?s Next Top Model. For those that don?t know me, I?m GlitterxGold and I?ll be your recapper. Emergency exits are located at the upper left hand corner of the page and in the event that things get too fierce, Naima pictures *shakes* will descend upon you for your protection. Please do not feed the models.

This two hour season premiere starts off as the previous cycle did, in the magical land of the LAX airport. Right off the bat we meet a hopeful Jaeda (18 from Parkersburg, IA), a bubbly Becky (21 from Sierra Village, CA) and dutiful wife and mom Evita (20 from Argentina, I mean, Gloucester, VA). Miss Jay, runway coach and trainer sashays over in his stewardess outfit to the group of growing number of wannabe models congregating together. Caridee (21 from Fargo, ND) is amazed at how tall he?errr she is. He informs the excited group of girls that they will be going to their first photo shoot immediately. Oh joy!

Each girl will have ten shots and despite this being a spur of the moment photo shoot, they turn out pretty well. Raven haired AJ (20 from Sacramento, CA) is nervous at her lack of experience, while silky haired Melrose, 23 from San Francisco, CA feels confident over the other girls because of her age and experience. Ginger (18 from Derby, KS) was happy to get up there and ?show her stuff? (oh how we?ll giggle about this later) and Anchal (19 from Homestead, FL) is out to show America that an Indian chick can be America?s Next Top Model. The last girl to photograph, Brooke (18 from Keller, TX) lights up the screen with her enthusiasm.

You Better SWIRL

The girls are taken to the Bel Age Hotel for God knows what and I pause the tape to go grab a drink. Upon my return, I see that my VCR must have gotten stuck because there are two images of the same girl sitting on the floor. Oh wait, that?s right, we have TWINS this cycle! Amanda and Michelle, (18 from Anaheim, CA) All of the other girls are perplexed at the thought of twins and how this will affect the competition and Mich-anda make some very Last Comic Standing-esque jokes about being twins as we see a montage of pictures from their life. Michelle diary rooms to us that ideally, they will both make the cut, but pssst she will win. Blood may be thicker than water, but when it comes to ANTM, fierce shall always prevail over family.

Contrary to popular belief, models do eat breakfast that doesn?t consist of just coffee and cigarettes, as we see the semifinalists sit down to a lavish breakfast on the roof of the hotel. I begin to curse my VCR, shake my fist in the air and vow to make a trip to Best Buy this weekend as I see another double vision. I quickly realize that Mich-anda are not the only twins we will see this episode, for it is none other than Ron and Richard Harris aka The Aswirl Twins! *flashback to Cycle 6 dance lesson* The models scream and cheer as one of the twins grabs fro-tastic Leangela, 21 from Columbus, OH and spins her around. They scream even louder and runs towards the front when Tyra the Great comes dancing out to greet them. She does her usual rah rah pep talk about not to be nervous on the interviews and be themselves (she laughingly warns that ?she can see through the fake?). She then commands them to ?SWIRL! SWIRL!? as she swirls around and the girls follow in army like fashion. It wouldn?t be a Tyra-riffic morning without the patented ?drop it like it?s hawt? and Tyra does not fail to deliver.

Send In The Clones

It?s time for the interviews. As Danity Kane would advise, all you girls have is ?One Shot? so you better impress the panel. The panel of doom as always is Tyra along with Jay Squared (Mr. and Miss Jay). This part of ANTM always reminds me of American Idol, except instead of paper numbers, the girls don BIKINIS for at least a portion of their interview. Here is a rundown:

Christian ? She is ?ready to take [Tyra?s] spot!? A self proclaimed Tyra expert, she imitates some of Tyra?s signature poses.

Caridee ? The blonde beauty prances in wearing a lacy garter belt on her leg. Miss Jay runs up to her and removes it from her leg with his teeth. Tyra says she reminds her of Rebecca Romijn. She tries to ?drop it like it?s hawt? on her way out and Tyra laughs at her clumsy attempt.

Anchal ? Stuttering, she says she is very nervous. In her audition photo she is wearing blue contacts and Mr. Jay and Tyra drill her a bit on why she wore them and brings up her culture. The ?I?m trying to make social statement here? music starts to play and Tyra goes into talk show host mode trying to get Anchal to talk about any issues she has with her culture. Anchal admits that lighter skin and eyes are valued in India and that tearfully says she would like to show that darker women can be beautiful. Tyra interjects and says is ?such a slave? with her hairpiece/weave on her head and the next step for her is sportin? a fro. Miss Jay points out that she has sported a fro and we see a clip from Cycle 3 of Tyra with a fro.

The Twins ? Amanda and Michelle enter the room together (hmm are they a package deal?). We learn that Michelle is the sporty twin. Miss Jay asks her if that is when she got in touch with her masculine side and she playfully asks him when he got in touch with his feminine side (he replies ?at birth?). They do the little comedy routine back and forth and are a bit clumsy with their poses. After they leave Miss Jay says ?the closest they need to be to fashion in sitting in a back room?.watching?. Ouch!

Megg ? She comes running in wild and crazy yelling causing Miss Jay to fall out of his chair. Megg loves heavy metal and rock and roll and while she looks sleepy in the eyes, she?s certainly a ball of energy.

Jaeda ? Jaeda says that she is the ?hot girl? at school and Tyra warns that a lot of times the hot girl on campus doesn?t always make a good model and her feelings get hurt. Jaeda oh so humbly replies that she is a ?hot girl that can model?. Tyra thinks she photographs nice.

Becky ? A sexy, blonde, pig farmer who has wanted to be a model since she was three years old. Tyra says she seems genuine, but could be ?genuinely boring?.

Monique ? Proclaims that she ?deserves? this and starts to get teary as she explains that people used to call her ?Blackula? because of her dark skin. Tyra notes that many girls from troubled background go into the entertainment industry to get validation and warns that it could make things worse if it doesn?t work out. Monique is willing to take that risk and comes back out in a FIERCE shiny gold bikini that impresses Tyra, as it reminds her of one that she wore.

Back at the hotel, they girls do a walk off, all fun and games and happy times right? Of course However via confessional, Melrose slyly notes while she really likes the twins, they could use some major grooming tips and Eugena thinks they shouldn?t cling to each other so much because this is a competition. *puts out some catnip* Anyway, back to the interviews!

Eugena ? She thinks that Cycle 6?s models were so boring, especially Gina. When asked who does she think is boring here, she names the twins and the ?rocker chick? aka Megg. Eugena says she is straight forward but likeable. Tyra says she doesn?t think so.

America?s Got Mad Skillz, Yo

Brittany ? A tap dancer who comes trotting out oh so cutely. Wait, did someone say?..DANCE?

We see a montage of girls dancing, singing, running in circles, doing splits, and rapping!

Brooke - A little sample from MC Brooke:

Intelligent and classy, I?ve got a cute little booty
Not only brains, but I?ve got the beauty
Confident, but I?m not cocky
I?m going to the TOP
Don?t you try and stop me *wags finger*
HEYYYYY HOOOOOOOO HEEEEYYYYY HOOOOOOO

Everyone gets up and starts grooving. Tyra commands her to ?drop it?drop it? and Brooke obliges. Bootys are shaking and it?s a total house party. Tyra seems to like her very much and notes that while Brooke is 5?7 she?s got the personality, just like Eva, Winner of Cycle 3 did.

Megan ? Short haired beauty Megan had a very traumatic experience as a child, where she was in a plane crash with her mother, who died and whose body helped keep her alive. She notes how the experience has helped her learn how things can change in life.

Evita ? The soldier?s wife we met earlier, she is not going to give up her dream just because of family, like ugh! Mr. Jay notes her super long dark hair and asks when is the last time she?s cut it. The look on her face is the same as if he had just asked her when was the last time?s she?s cut off a limb. That pretty much answered his question.

Meanwhile, we cut to Evita sitting in a circle with the other girls defending herself about leaving her kids behind to pursue a modeling career. The more I look at her, at listen to her, the more I am reminded of Noelle from ANTM Cycle 4. Eugena tells us via confessional how she does NOT think its right for her to be here when she should be with her children, especially when they are so young. *z snaps* Evita passionately says that she is not going to give up missing out on her kids first steps for nothing and if she is leaving her kids behind she is going to win this. Boo-yah!

Before we cut to commercial we get Cycle 6 Winner Danielle in her very first ?My Life As a CoverGirl? segment. She has notably worked on her accent but we can see her Southern sweetness shine though. as she tells us about how her life?.as a CoverGirl. Anyone who watched MTV?s Miss Seventeen will recognize Seventeen magazine editor-in-chief Atoosa Rubenstein as the client she meets with. Now, back to the interviews!

Sob Stories & Stereotypes

AJ ? Walking in dropping it like it?s hot, we find out that AJ is survivor of cervical cancer. She has learned the same lesson as Megan, that many things in life are unexpected and things can change at any time. She informs us that one in three women who are sexually active will get the virus that causes cervical cancer. AJ wants show people that you ?don?t have to be the typical blonde?. Tyra thinks she is a ?diamond in the rough?.

Cyndel ? She walks in ?aswirling? and we find out that she?s a stripper who insists on being called an ?entertainer? instead (?there is a big difference?) pisses Tyra off a bit when she says that stripping is ?another part of modeling, in a way, another part of the fashion world?. Tyra says she is not judging her for being an ?exotic dancer? or a ?stripper? (notice how she refuses to refer to her as an entertainer?a little passive aggressive much?) After she leaves Tyra says she thinks Cyndel would be ?happy?.stripping, because it?s just the same as modeling?. That?s one girl who we can easily say won?t make the cut.

Jaslene ? She minds me so much of that girl last cycle who pretended to be a dinosaur While stereotypical salsa music starts to play, Jaslene busts out with an elaborate dance routine and does some extremely exaggerated poses such as: ?Fierceness?, ?Sexy Lingerie?, and ?Catalog?. After she leaves, we get a chorus of ?fieeeeeeerce? from the judges who wag their fingers in unison.

Melrose ? Tyra?s eyes bug out (in a kind of impressed way) as she walks in. We discover that her real name is Melissa Rose, but you see, she doesn?t need that ?issa? and plus err, she doesn?t want to sound like a country singer. Hey, country singers can be FIERCE, just ask Willie Nelson! She informs us that she can ?be really nice? or a ?complete bitch? to which Mr. Jay can already agree. Melrose already works in fashion and impresses the panel with her extensive knowledge of designers.

Leangela ? The first African American Homecoming Queen in her hometown, she was abandoned by her mother (when they became homeless) as a child when she was ten years old and lived in foster care. Wow, these are some very sad stories this cycle.

Ginger ? A former page for the House of Representatives, Tyra is concerned that she is very conservative and wonders how she would act around this crazy world of modeling which includes ?gay boys? and ?sex?. Mr. Jay comes up and messes her hair up and Tyra COMMANDS her to drop it like it?s hawt (okay Swim and Bhanson, we?re going to have to change one of the questions on your prediction game to ?How many times does Tyra command someone to ?drop it like it?s hawt???)

Cutting Dreams and Clothes

The Jays gather all of the girls at a salon and inform them that it?s time to make the penultimate cut and inside the salon, there will be twenty-one magazine covers representing the twenty-one girls who will make it to the next round. The girls jump and scream and charge forward in a mad dash to see if they have made the cut. Lots and lots of SCREAMING ensues and we discover that the following girls have made it: Christian, Michelle, Amanda, Megg, Jaslene, Jaeda, Monique, Caridee, Megan, Becky, Brittany, Brooke, Eugena, Leangela, Ginger, Anchal, A.J., Melrose, and Evita. Argentina won?t be crying for her today, but we can?t say the same for the models who did not make it. They cry as the other girls continue to SCREAM like maniacs at the top of their lungs (Melrose is looking especially crazy). Stripper, I mean entertainer, Cyndel is determined not to be a sore loser but you can tell she is disappointed.

With not too much time to celebrate, the girls are informed that they have 15 minutes to do their makeup and hair (they may choose from the many long hair extensions on the wall). The gather back on the roof of the hotel and are informed that they will be doing a NUDE photo shoot. Some girls are screaming with excitement but conservative Ginger is already worried and doesn?t think she can do it. Becky is in tears and is worried that everyone at home will be mad at her. Ginger tells Mr. Jay her worries and basically he eludes to either you do it or you will not move on. Way to pressure a girl. The girls are shown under a tent flinging off their clothes and rubbing baby oil on themselves. Here?s how the shoot goes down:

Brooke ? confident and feels FIERCE
Monique ? poses gracefully and is excited to see the pics
Evita ? is happy that one day her kids will see her naked.....WHAT?!?!
Jaeda ? does the shoot with ease
Megan ? claims isn?t wasn?t as hard as she thought
Eugena ? as she poses, Becky complains that Eugena has lots of long hair to cover her boobs and what going to cover HER boobs.

Jaslene retorts that she shouldn?t be a model if she is uncomfortable with nudity and Becky gets snappy attitude with her saying she didn?t say she wasn?t going to do it, she just not comfortable and going to run around naked like WOO HOO and just hopes she has a place to go home to after this.

Becky ? is very uncomfortable but gets up and does the job despite her feelings. She feels really good when it?s over and thinks she did a good job.
Megg ? seems very comfortable and natural
Caridee - is sporting an UGLY wig, with her hair super long and black on one side and shorter and blond on the other. She seems to pride herself in being so comfortable with being naked.
Amanda ? fumbles a bit because the platform is so slippery from all baby oil.
Michelle ? has less noticably trouble
Leangela ? has done her eye makeup just like Adrienne, Cycle 1?s snake picture

AJ ? complains how cold it is and has trouble with ideas for poses
Christian ? thinks the naked body should be glorified

It?s Ginger?s turn, but she says that she simply can?t do it. Jaslene complains again how girls shouldn?t be models if they can?t get naked. Cyndel throws her remote at the TV from her house yelling, ?See! I TOLD you stripping was part of modeling!?

Jaslene ? does a ?perfect? job according to the photographer
Melrose ? stretches her arms in a variety of poses
Brittany ? looks so uncomfortable in her face, like she is about to cry
Anchal ? is positively serene

Ginger is called again and is eventually coaxed up with Jaeda going up with her to hold the towel up as she changes positions. She can only muster up the strength to take two shots and then stops and says she will not continue. Ginger is sticking by her morals, regardless of whether this gets her cut or not. Becky angrily interviews that it?s not fair that she only took two photos and should be immediately eliminated.

Our Final Thirteen

It?s time for the judges to deliberate on who will make the final cast. They sit on some luxurious chairs in front of a plasma screen TV and pick apart each semifinalist as they view their audition, airport, and nude photo:

Megg ? didn?t like her at all at first, but her pictures won them over
Leangela ? they like all but her nude photo
Megan ? sad story makes them sympathetic, but are worried about her proportions
Caridee ? are bewildered by her ugly wig in the nude photo, but Miss Jay thinks she is willing to give it her all
Eugena ? is donned ?Eugenius? by Miss Jay and turned out better than they expected in her nude photo
Melrose ? reminds them of the late 80?s models?.and that could be a good thing
Christian ? impressed by her Tyra knowledge, but her neck is missing in her photos
Brittany ? has a ?huge? question mark on her face, but Tyra thinks it could be taught
Jaslene ? they are on the fence with her, Miss Jay thinks she?s a bit ?hard? in her look and wonder if she can soften up
Ginger ? they love her face, but she is unwilling to cooperate
Evita ? is ?gorgeous? but they think she is a bit conceited
AJ ? Miss Jay sees a ?great canvas?, but her face is ?off?
Anchal ? looks like a Miss World contestant and it ?scares? Tyra how beautiful she is
Jaeda ? looks a bit ?mannish? and Mr. Jay thinks she is more masculine than he is
Becky ? looks a bit too ?safe?
Brooke ? they laugh at her poor styling of her wig, but Mr. Jay thinks she has ?something? and her mad rapping skillz impressed Tyra
Monique ? made Miss Jay?s eyes flutter and Mr. Jay thinks she could sell anything from makeup to liquor
Amanda ? the ?girly? twin; Tyra thinks she?s very sexy and Mr. Jay thinks she would be comfortable to work with and prefers her over Michelle
Michelle ? the ?tomboy? twin; has the ?plain Jane? thing going on and Tyra prefers her over Amanda

Everyone gathers to the rooftop again, which is now decked out in red carpets, and Tyra announces the final 13 contestants in the following order: Melrose, Jaeda, Michelle, Eugena, Brooke (who busts out into a freestyle of ?I?ve got a lot of personality you just can?t bottle, here I am girls, I?m on America?s Next Top Model??..HOLLA!!!!! Oh errm where was I? Oh next she calls Anchal, A.J., Christian, Megg (Megan gets a wicked look on her face as she celebrates), Megan, Caridee (bursts into hysterical tears), Amanda (Michelle seems more relived than Amanda that her name was called) and Monique (also bursts into hysterical tears). Anchal lets out a wild howl (she?s not going to be a wallflower this cycle, I can already tell). Tyra commands them all to aswirl they have a mini pose off and end the first half of the show with a big group woo hoo.

For the next half of the show, be sure to check out Part Two of this recap!

[Jahim]

Originally Posted by GXG

Cyndel throws her remote at the TV from her house yelling, “See! I TOLD you stripping was part of modeling!”

Holler for part 1, on to part 2!