Two more girls are sitting by themselves in the bleak hallway, and you can almost feel the impatience in the air as everyoneís anxious to wrap up. A dark-skinned girl in purple, with big lips and a heavy Indian accent, is trying to make conversation with a tan, curvy woman in cobalt blue to her right.
Indian: Hello, are you one of the contestants?
I was just going to introduce myself--
Iím not going to mince words here - Iím here to win this competition.
Youíre also here to win this competition, of course, but there can only be one winner. Unfortunately, that is gonna be me, much to your despair.
So, if I know that Iím going to win, there is absolutely no point whatsoever in talking to the rest of these losers who will try to pester me throughout my journey to the top.
Youíre one of them, so I canít really be bothered to talk to you in the slightest.
And that, as they say, is just that.
Iím sorry, why are you so sure youíre gonna--
Tan: Easy. I deserve it most.
More than anyone here, I can guarantee it.
How can you be so--
Tan: Trust me, I know.
Indian: ...can I just ask you one question?
Tan: ...well, since Iím engaging you anyway, you might as well.
Indian: Why, exactly, did you have to speak all that crock of bullsh*t and utterly waste your saliva when you couldíve just as easily say that youíd rather not talk at all and leave it at that?
Iíll just say that--
The panel, meanwhile, reconvenes for another evaluation.
Katherine: Damn, that was good.
Olga: Just so you know, youíre supposed to be blowing the smoke up my ass.
Katherine: ...that was supposed to be funny, or smart, or snarky?
Katherine: It failed.
Daniel: Girls, can we stop bickering for a moment?
Katherine: Donít worry, thereís room for you too, landing-strip-forehead!
Daniel: NOTE TO PRODUCTION: NEVER GIVE HER A BLUNT AGAIN.
Also, the next girl is upon us.
That's what I wanted to say.
Katherine: Little large on the hips.
Katherine: No, but I agree. Sheís pretty much immaculate.
Daniel: Letís just hope her personality is tolerable, tooÖ
Katherine: Youíre still not over blondie?
Daniel: She was absolute perfection until she opened her mouth!
Katherine: Oh, stop your bitching, Daniel.
First of all, she was at least genuinely nice.
And second, youíve hired some pretty awful people in the past, too--
Dana hid a recorder in her bra backstage to expose people to the tabloids!
Kierney used to tie the other girlsí shoelaces so theyíd trip all over the place!
Olga: ...uh, guys?
Daniel: I was never warned about this!
I mean, you couldíve said something!
Katherine: And you think I didnít?
I was constantly telling you about all this sh*t and your only concern back then was whether your hairline looked forward enough--
Daniel: ENOUGH WITH THE HAIRLINE ALREADY!
IT WASNíT FUNNY THE FIRST TIME!
The judges stop screaming for a moment and look foward, where, much to their surprise, the girl in the picture stands, with a look of mild puzzlement on her face.
Katherine: Well done, Daniel, weíve both managed to make complete fools of ourselves.
Daniel: ...weíre sorry for the show we caused, miss.
Indian: Donít worry, itís okay!
Olga: Please do forgive us, honey.
Can you introduce yourself?
Indian: My name is Neha Dutta, Iím 24 years old, and I currently live in San Diego, but Iím originally from a small Indian territory called Andaman and Nicobar.
Olga: Wow, Iíve never heard of it!
Neha: Itís just south of Burma. Very beautiful place.
And why did you leave this beautiful place?
Neha: WellÖ when I was twelveÖ you might remember the tsunami that hit Asia, right?
So we were pretty affected by it - not nearly as wrecked as other cities, but for example, my familyís shop was pretty much ruined.
I helped as much as I could in the city, trying to rebuild everything, but the economy was pretty ruined then, so we were out of a steady income, and my father and I moved to the mainland with my older brother to try and make a living for ourselves.
Olga: How many siblings do you have?
Neha: Iím the 2nd of 5.
We arrived at the suburbs of Bombay, so my father opened a convenience store there.
My brother worked in carpentry, and I worked in telemarketing, and we both made turns at Fatherís shop whenever we could.
It went on this way for quite a while - I was doing my job, and I was pretty good at it, and I was climbing the ranks of the company, and then when I was 19, they made an offer to me.
ďNeha, weíre expanding our company overseas, and youíve been here since the beginning, youíre the best we have on board, do you want to come with us?Ē
AndÖ I did!
Daniel: Your father was okay with that?
Neha: I consulted him first, of course, but he was always very supportive.
ďDear, your happiness is all the riches I could ever have!Ē
...thatís what he always said to me.
Daniel: ...so, you were working at telemarketing up until now?
The company I was working for disbanded a few months ago, and I was out of a job, so I thought about something really novel that I wanted to try, and modeling justÖ I donít know, it just fit.
I consulted with my father first, of course, but everything seems to be fine now, finally, and I know heíd never stop me from following a dream.
So, after a couple test shots, here I am!
Daniel: Very interesting.
Katherine: I have a question, though - how do you think your telemarketing skills will help you in modeling?
Neha: Well, for one, I used to work all day with girls - gossip girls, no less - so I know the deal with living in a house full of young women.
Second, I know how to communicate, which is essential for pretty much any job, right?
And third, I might as well just smooth talk my way to the prize
Katherine: I wouldnít doubt that in the slightest.
Katherine: DAMN IT, I thought I had my winner already.
Now Iím forced to reconsider all over again.
Olga: I love how eloquent she is!
I want to listen to her all day
I never thought an Indian accent could sound this good.
I seriously want her to read me to sleep every day.
Daniel: Sheís actually really lovely.
Katherine: WHAT IS IT NOW.
Daniel: Look, itís justÖ sheís not exactly a spring chickenÖ
Katherine: So what? Sheís got the maturity, a striking face, she needs a little work on the body but thatís easily fixable.
Olga: A lot of really successful models nowadays peaked when they were a little older than your regular model.
See, Saskia de Brauw was 30 when she peaked, Bhumika Arora was 28, Kati Nescher was 27, Arizona Muse was 22Ö and I could go on, really.
Katherine: At the end of the day, what matters the most is what youíre presenting in front of us.
And for me, she hit all the right notes.
Daniel: You know what?
I think youíre right.
I have no further complaints.
Katherine: ...did I finally shut him up?
Itís the end of the world, guys.
Itís gonna rain cats and dogs--
Olga: ...and aspiring models too, evidently.
Olga: I like the poseÖ
Daniel: Yes, itís good, but I donít see much else of interest.
Katherine: Now Iím the one whoís got nothing to say.
This girl is literally nothing.
Old and harsh looking, mediocre body, and she looks completely stiff.
Daniel: Nice bottom, though.
Katherine: Well, sheís gonna need one if she wants this whole modeling thing to work out for her.
Tan girl enters the room.
Tan: Hello, everyone.
Olga: Hello, honey!
What is your name?
Olga: ...no last name?
Theodora: None needed.
Olga: ...is that so?
I am sure that my first name will be easily recognized as the first winner of this competition.
Olga: ...what makes you think youíre going to win?
Theodora: First of all, I donít think Iím going to win, Iím sure of it.
And Iím going to win because I deserve it the most.
Katherine: Well, letís hear it, then!
Why do you deserve to win this?
Theodora: Well, you might not know of my struggle.
I have been trying to get into an agency for 6 years, now.
All of them have rejected me so far, plainly refusing to recognize my talent.
However, Iím still holding out hope that a true fashion powerhouse will see the light and recognize me for the winner that I am.
This competition is it.
Theodora: Does it need anything else?
Daniel: Okay, first of all: no girl deserves it more or less than any other.
Katherine: But let's assume they do, for a second.
Youíre aware that there are girls here that came from their homelands and fought against tsunamis and poverty and adversity, right?
Yet you deserve it more because no scout wanted your sorry ass?
Theodora: I am perfectly aware of that.
But none of these girls had the rejection that I had to face.
None of them know what itís like to get a modeling contract and have it taken away from them.
I am so done with this girl.
Can someone please take her away?
Theodora: Donít worry, Iíll leave.
No one is going to escort me out of anywhere.Iím leaving with the certainty of my victory, and you will soon be forced to recognize that.
W A T C H M E .
Katherine: Who let this girl in here?
Didnít anybody tell her the psych ward is down the hall?
Daniel: SheísÖ kind of a trainwreck, isnít she?
Olga: Iím scared sh*tless.
Katherine: Is there anything positive to say about this girl?
Daniel: Well, she does have a healthy-looking glow--
Katherine: Thatís because sheís pregnant from the ANTICHRIST.
Olga: Oh goodness, please donít joke about that!
...itís too much of a possibility to be funnyÖ
Daniel: But seriously, she has gorgeous skin and hair.
Katherine: Iím gonna pretend I didnít just hear that.
Her entitlement is more funny to me than anything elseÖ
Katherine: Itís maddening to me, because itís so real.
She truly believes what sheís saying.Itís infuriating.
I feelÖ unclean.
You know what would get me through this?
Katherine: What, like youíre Daddy now?
Daniel: DONíT AND DONíT.
Seriously, production, donít give her not one more of the stuff!
Sheís gonna go ballistic on me!
Katherine: I swear Iím gonna snatch your implants off.
...I seriously need to take up smokingÖ
...and a raise.
I seriously need a raise.
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